tension.of.the.opposites

selamat tinggal

2010-06-30T02:24:00.002+01:00

Selamat tinggal Ireland.
Selamat tinggal Dublin.
Selamat tinggal Trinity College Dublin.
Selamat berjuang kawan-kawan.

Oktober 2005 - Jun 2010
TCD, Dublin, Ireland.

singgah

2010-06-27T18:18:00.002+01:00

Eh, bila entri terakhir sebelum ini ye?
31 Mac 2010.

Hehe... tak perlulah nak cerita semua yang jadi antara 31 Mac hingga 27 Jun 2010. Macam-macam ada. Internet saja yang tak ada.

Esok grad.
Mahu sangat-sangat update blog ini. Kenangan.
Tengoklah kalau-kalau berjaya menulis di sini esok lusa.

Pada Tuhan,
Terima kasih atas segala pinjaman nikmatMu untuk kami. Segalanya.
Alhamdulillah!

final med dinner

2010-03-31T00:34:00.005+01:00

Okay, just a quick note on the dinner tonight.

It was a simple straight forward dinner. Food wise, nothing fancy other than the lemon souffle as the dessert. But I guess that's the way they do it.

Dinner started with a loud bang of the main door being closed. What?? Yes. They banged the door closed. As expected, the noisy hall quiet. Then everybody raised. After a few lines in Latin (which Prof O'Morain commented as a very bad one =p), we sat. The food was served shortly afterward.

Starting with leek soup and bread as starters. The main course of chicken breast, baked potato and boiled green beans followed. Dinner finished with dessert and tea/coffee.

After dinner, the profs gave us a few words full of inspiration, reassurance and yeah, good laugh. That's it. The report.

ps: The Profs are all very friendly, approachable and ...hmm, laid back. It was very nice experience sitting down to have dinner with them and casually chat about topics that have nothing to do with medicine.

Professor Shaun McCann (Director of Undergraduate Teaching and Learning)

With Hajar. Sitting beside her was Prof O'Morain (The Dean of Health Sciences Faculty). At the back there, Dr Martina Hennessy (our coordinator).

Professor Patricia Crowley. I admire her. She's the senior lecturer in Obs & Gynae.

RSVP

2010-03-30T16:00:00.002+01:00

Répondez s'il vous plaît

I'm going out tonight.

waktu siang yang disimpan?

2010-03-30T10:00:00.006+01:00

Hari ini Dublin bersalji lagi. Tiba-tiba saja. Padahal sudah di hujung bulan Mac kan.. Malah 2 hari lepas daylight saving pun dah bermula.

Daylight saving ni apa?

Simpanan waktu siang?

Waktu siang yang disimpan?

Err, malas mahu tulis di sini panjang-panjang sekarang.. tapi kesimpulannya 'waktu' sekarang 'tidak normal'..

Oh, makin memeningkan. Penerangan apa ni?

Baik, beginilah...

Dublin/London GMT 0

Malaysia/Hong Kong GMT +8

Maka sepatutnya beza waktu di Dublin dengan Malaysia adalah 8 jam. Tapi sebab ada daylight saving ni maka beza waktu di Dublin dengan Malaysia jadi 7 jam saja.

I have never been able to get plus/minus thingy (i.e to which direction the clock hand should move) into my head. So, I always rely on the automated time on the internet.

Okeh, mari sambung membaca lagi! Maksud saya membaca buku ye...

Opps, if you're dying to know about the daylight saving, read on here. I'm not. Not at the moment.

hampir ke situ

2010-03-26T06:43:00.007Z

Hari terakhir persekolahan, insya Allah...

Rezeki itu milik Tuhan, semoga Dia mencukupkan keperluan hambaNya ini...
Semangat, jangan pergi jauh... perjuangan belum selesai.
Sabar sedikit sahaja lagi, kita sudah hampir ke situ...

Mendua - Hampir Ke Situ

Aku sadar bukan mudah
Untuk mengejar mimpi indah
Pernah suatu ketika dulu
Ku punya harapan besar
Kini aku tak pasti
Dapatkah ku miliki

Sudah jauh kita tempuh
Kekalkanlah impian lalu
Mungkin ada hikmah
Yang akan menunggu
Di penghujung jalan
Biar nanti kecewa
Setidak-tidaknya cuba

Jika halangan menduga perjalanan kita
Janganlah kau putus asa
Karena ku ada di sisi setia menemani
Andai semangatmu gugur
Genggamlah tanganku
Kita hampir ke situ

Adakala ku terasa
Ketabahan tak setegar
Tetapi apakan daya
Berhenti separuh jalan
Percayalah padaku
Aku yakin kita mampu

Biar orang katakan
Rapuhnya harapan
Bukan mereka tentukan lagi
Kau ada aku dan aku punya kamu
Amanlah akhirnya tetap bersama
Oh…

how to capture a screen shot

2010-03-24T08:36:00.009Z

I've always wanted to learn how to do this!

Never imagine it could be this easy.

Now I'm a happy bunny!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

exam dates are here

2010-03-22T19:49:00.002Z

So, here they are... the dates!
Our final medical year written exam dates are finally confirmed. Basically we are going to sit for 3 papers on 2 subjects this time. Then, the much feared clinical exams will follow shortly. We don't have the official dates for clinicals yet although it is well understood to happen during the week 19th of April.

Anyway, I have to face these papers first:

MEDICINE
Tue 6th Apr 2010 at Upper Luce Hall
1330-1700

SURGERY
Thu 8th Apr 2010 at Upper Luce Hall
0930-1130 Essay
1400-1600 MCQ

Good Luck! An t-adh leat! (pronounced 'on thaw lat')

SPA posto, posto!

2010-03-19T07:01:00.002Z

SURAT PANGGILAN TEMU DUGA

1. Anda dijemput menghadiri temu duga bagi jawatan yang tersebut di bawah pada tarikh, masa dan tempat temu duga seperti berikut:

(a) Kod Skim, Jawatan dan Gred: 1604 PEGAWAI PERUBATAN GRED U41
(b) Kementerian / Jabatan : KEMENTERIAN KESIHATAN MALAYSIA
(c) Tarikh : 3 APRIL 2010 (SABTU)
(d) Masa Pendaftaran : 8.00 PAGI
(e) Tempat : THE WESTBURY HOTEL, GRAFTON STREET, DUBLIN 2

2. ........

.........
Bahagian Pengambilan
b.p. Setiausaha
Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam
Malaysia.

tiket tiket

2010-03-17T17:31:00.004Z

Semalam beli tiket nak balik Malaysia. Alih-alih tadi agen dari UK tu telefon kata diorang tak dapat nak charge debit card yang saya guna mungkin kerana kad tersebut boleh digunakan di Ireland saja. Huhuhu, ada masa sampai esok untuk uruskan hal ini.

Tak adalah susah sangat tapi option yang ada adalah lebih mahal iaitu menggunakan kad kredit yang suka menambah service charge pada akhir pembelian. Ngeeee... mahu yang mudah itu kan tidak percuma!

Tiket yang mahal, moga pulang kali ini berbaloi-baloi.

Nota: Terkenang-kenang second option, flying Etihad via Abu Dhabi. Miong!!

telefon hilang

2010-03-17T08:36:00.003Z

Hari Isnin lepas 15 Mac 2010.
Tempat kejadian : Hospital St James.

Laporan:
Kekasihku telefon SEk750i yang baru (telah) berusia hampir 3 tahun hilang dicuri!! Maka saya menjadi sedih. Sudahlah memang sebelum itu telah tersangat sedih...
Lebih sedih lagi bila bangun pagi sudah tak ada lagi bunyi alarm kesayangan saya...
Jadi semalam saya sudah rasa mahu demam. Sudah makan ubat dan tidur awal tetap rasa kurang sihat. Maka telah menelan lagi ubat pagi ini. Nasib baik hari ni cuti.
Telefon, kamu tetap di hatiku walaupun telah diganti yang baru.
T_T

Nota: Telah membeli tiket pulang ke Malaysia untuk cuti selepas exam. Harus lulus periksa ni! Ya Allah, berikan hambaMU ini kecukupan dari rezekiMU yang melimpah-ruah. Tiada daya-upayaku melainkan belas-ihsanMU.

focus

2010-03-12T02:14:00.004Z

FOCUS = "Forget Other Commitment Until Success"

self-note

2010-03-04T09:07:00.005Z

Banyak sangat mimpi-mimpi yang mahu dijadikan realiti.
Jangan yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran.
Sabar wahai diri, tabah dengan cabaran ini.

My dearie me,
Get your seat belt. Put it on.
Then, off you go. Hit the accelerator!
Until then, hold on. Bear with this life.

Much love,
Azizah

Note: Congratulations to Kak Syek and Apen on the arrival of baby Hanan. Ah, tak puas pegang Hanan... Apen je nak conquer baby dia... Haha, takkan nak ambil, anak dia la pulak =p

blog berkata

2010-03-02T23:41:00.002Z

Terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata ...

Memang lidah boleh jadi lebih tajam daripada mata pedang. Tersilap kata boleh menghiris hati, memutus sahabat. Tapi jika kita bijak menggunakannya, boleh runtuh gunung, boleh cair besi...

Macam mana pula dengan tulisan? Tulisan pada dasarnya macam berkata-kata jugalah. Silap tulis ada pula yang berjauh hati. Malah, satu koleksi penulisan peribadi seperti blog ini ada lebih banyak lagi implikasinya.

Saya suka blog-hopping. Kadang-kadang saya akan kembali ke blog yang sama beberapa kali jika saya suka dengan kandungannya atau saya tertarik dengan personaliti empunya blog. Ini untuk blog yang yang tidak kenali penulisnya la. Seronok juga tengok ragam minda manusia di alam maya. Yalah, tulisan di blog itukan sedikit-sebanyak menggambarkan siapa yang menulisnya.

Tapi, harus diingat juga... jangan sesekali menilai seseorang daripada blog semata-mata. Itu suatu tindakan yang tidak tepat. Manusia menggunakan blog ini untuk pelbagai tujuan. Ada yang buat macam diari, ada yang buat tempat melepaskan rasa marah/geram/meluat yang tak terucap dengan kata bila berdepan, ada juga yang gunakan sebagai medium berdakwah, malah makin banyak yang berniaga melalui blog.

Lagi satu perkara, apa-apa yang ditulis itu benar ketika ia ditulis. Boleh jadi ia akan berubah selepas beberapa tahun, bulan, minggu atau hari. Bahaya jugalah macam tu bila kita lantang sangat menulis di dalam blog. Lebih-lebih tulisan yang tak berlapik a.k.a tak ada insurans. Silap-silap boleh sesal kemudian.

Walau macam mana pun, blogging hak peribadi yang harus dihormati. Yang penting kita selalu beringat-ingat untuk menghormati orang lain juga (walaupun orang itu tiada blog). Mentang-mentang dia tiada blog, bolehlah kita menghentam dia sebab dia tak dapat nak hentam balik. Haha, janganlah buat begitu.

Jaga diri, hiasi peribadi.
Ini ingatan untuk diri sendiri.
^_^

destinasi cinta

2010-02-22T21:05:00.009Z

(siapa tau bunga ni nama apa?)

Hah, tajuk entri ni dah macam tajuk lagu Siti Nurhaliza. Takpelah, lagu tu pun sedap jugak. Hmm, saja mahu lari sekejap daripada keluh-kesah perlumbaan tahun akhir di fakulti perubatan.

Sempena musim-musim kawan-kawan melangsungkan perkahwinan ni dan elok pula saya baru saja membaca sebuah artikel tentang perkahwinan, mari saya tuliskan sedikit tentang topik yang menarik ni.

Artikel yang saya baca tu adalah tulisan salah seorang penulis dan pendakwah yang saya kagumi, Ustaz Hasrizal Abdul Jamil. Saya memang pengunjung setia blog beliau, Saifulislam.com. Kalau sesiapa yang rajin online, saya cadangkan sangat-sangatlah untuk melawat blog beliau.

Apa yang menarik perhatian saya ialah ayat terakhir entri tersebut:
Bahagia, biar sampai ke Syurga!

Semua orang nak bahagia, semua orang nak bahagia sampai syurga.
Tapi tak semua orang bertugkus-lumus membina jalan sampai ke sana.
Saya sengaja menggunakan perkataan 'bertungkus-lumus' untuk menunjukkan susahnya usaha membina jalan tersebut. Maka sebab susahnya usaha tersebut, sesiapa yang mahukannya (kita semua la kan) mestilah betul-betul mahu, sanggup, gigih dan tabah.

Dunia hari ini banyak sangat cabaran. Kadang saya jadi takut, kadang jadi putus harap juga. Sedangkan hati dan diri berbolak-balik dan teroleng-oleng selalu. Untung sabut timbul, untung batu tenggelam, tapi mana boleh biar arus yang tentukan nasib kita, kan?

Teringat kata-kata seorang teman, "kalau mahukan pasangan yang baik dan soleh, kenalah berusaha membaiki diri dari sekarang. Jangan tunggu berkenan dengan orang yang alim-alim baru sibuk nak berharap nanti dia didik kita."

"It doesn't matter how much we have in the beginning. How much we built till the end matter more."

Nota: Selamat hari lahir kepada adikku Amira Abd Rahim yang tersangat disayangi. Along doakan angah dipanjangkan umur dalam hasanah dan dibanyakkan kegembiraan dalam sakinah. Dan, yang paling penting,

semoga bahagia sampai syurga!

menjaga ingatan

2010-02-18T22:09:00.004Z

Latar belakang: Kami sedang mencuba menghafal pilihan antibiotik untuk pelbagai jenis jangkitan yang utama. Tiba-tiba Kak Aisyah berkata,
"Haish, banyak kali ulang pun tak ingat-ingat. Itulah, tak jaga makan, tak jaga hati!"
GEDEBUSH!!! Hah, terkena batang hidung!

Kalau kamu cari tips menguatkan ingatan di alam maya ni, memang banyak la petua yang dijumpai. Baik dari sudut pandangan Islamik atau yang disokong oleh kajian-kajian saintifik. Bagi sesiapa yang terlibat dalam research, kamu tahu sajalah banyak yang boleh dipersoal sebelum menerima hasil kajian itu dan ini sesenang hati saja.

Baiklah, saya tak buat kajian pun. Saya cari dan baca saja. Tapi saya suka yang ini:
1. Jauhi daripada dosa - Dosa membawa kesan yang buruk kepada ingatan/memori dan kemampuan untukmengingati ilmu. Kehitaman dosa tidak dapat wujud sekali dengankecerahan ilmu.
Perkataan berikut diambil daripada Imam Syafie:"Saya mengadu kepada guru saya, Wakee' mengenai masalah ingatan saya. Dia memberitahu agar menjauhi daripada dosa dan maksiat. Dia berkata: IlmuAllah adalah cahaya, dan cahaya tidak diberikan Allah kepada pendosa."

2.Selalulah mengingati Allah dengan berzikir dan membaca Al-Quran. Allah berfirman "Dan ingatilah Tuhan mu (Allah) ketika kamu terlupa"(Al-Kahf: 24)

3. Tidak makan terlalu banyak. Kerana makan terlalu banyak akan membuatkan seseorang mengantuk dan malas selain menambahkan penyakit. Kebanyakan daripada penyakit datang daripada makanan dan minuman.

4. Makan kismis dan madu - Sesetengahulama menyebut beberapa jenis makanan yang dapat menambahkan ingatanseperti madu lebah dan kismis.Imama Az-Zuhri menyebut "Kamu patutmengambil madu sebab ia baik untuk memori.....Barangsiapa ingin menghafal hadith, ia patut memakan kismis"Ada juga yang menyebut,mengambil banyak makanan yang berasid adalah penyebab kepada kemalasan dan lemah ingatan.

Ada satu lagi laman yang saya dapati menarik. Di sana dia mengukuhkan setiap petua dengan alasan dan kajian saitifik.

Baiklah, masa untuk berhenti. Masa untuk uruskan hal lain pula.

14 feb wishes

2010-02-14T22:15:00.006Z

(credit to Hazwan)

1. Happy Chinese New Year to all my chinese friends, especially my housemates Grace and Yong Xian. Wishing you the prosperous and successful year to come.

2. Tahniah kepada kawan-kawan sekolah saya, dua orang Abd Rahman yang telah selamat mendirikan rumah tangga dengan pasangan masing-masing. Saya doakan kebahagian kalian walaupun tak dapat memenuhi undangannya. Jadi, Abd Rahman Hamzah dengan Siti Naquia dan Abdul Rahman Harmin dengan Karimah, semoga kalian bahagia di dunia dan akhirat, Insya Allah...

3. Untuk semua kawan-kawan yang menghadiri kedua-dua kenduri di Bangi atau Parit Buntar (rujuk gambar di atas), seronoknya tengok gambar korang. Jangan lupa plan mega reunion Batch !7 tahun ini grand-grand tau. Dengar kata ada yang memanjangkan percutian sampai ke Pulau Pangkor, jangan nakal-nakal di sana. Huhu.

4. Untuk saudari Faizah, my groupmate yang best. Selamat hari lahir ke 25! Semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki dan berjaya selalu.

5. To my much beloved housemates San dan Yus, welcome home buddies. Time to work hard and enjoy the rest of our time together!

6. Seluruh famili saya berkumpul di rumah kami di Senawang!!! AHHHH, sungguh cemburu dengar cerita adik-adikku yang berseronok kena buli dengan abah, haha! Bila pula agaknya saya nak join diorang ni? Waaaa... rindu semua oranggg~~~

'tak' menghitung hari

2010-02-10T23:04:00.005Z

Kali akhir saya menulis tentang countdown peperiksaan akhir adalah kira-kira dua bulan lepas. Sekarang tinggal kurang 2 bulan untuk peperiksaan bermula.

Banyak ceritanya di antara entri tersebut dengan hari ini.
Banyak yang dibaca.
Banyak yang dipelajari.
Banyak yang berlaku.

6 minggu di AMNCH. 3 minggu Medicine, 3 minggu Surgery.
Ada kalanya sibuk dan seronok.
Ada masa-masanya bosan dan hampa.
Minggu ini minggu terakhir di sana. Minggu depan kami akan berpindah 'rumah' ke SJH pula. Suasana berlainan, guru-guru (pakar perubatan, pakar bedah, doktor-doktor dan pesakit-pesakit) yang berbeza, misi saja tetap sama.

Banyak yang saya harapkan untuk masa-masa terakhir ini.
Banyak yang sudah dirancangkan.
Banyak lagi yang mesti dibaca.
Banyak lagi yang perlu dipelajari.
Banyak lagi yang bakal terjadi.

Semoga saya dapat belajar dengan tenang, gigih dan tabah.
Semoga tidak banyak drama.
Semoga berjaya.
Insya Allah.
(^_^)

Usaha mesti berterusan, doa mesti selalu!

tearless

2010-02-03T14:25:00.006Z

I can't wait for these to be over.
It's not easy to hold on when you're losing your grip...

This is pain that I'm taking.
The pain that only heal with time.
The pain that only relieved by much more pain.

Let me go.
Let me do my own things.
Let me heal the pain.

Note: This song keep ringing in my head lately. Is it because I dont like it, so it's taking a revenge? Trouble Is A Friend by Lenka.

Lagi: Final year ni memang menyakitkan jiwa. Adoi!

kindness heals

2010-01-24T22:57:00.007Z

Always try to do good at every opportunity because you don't know how many hearts you hurt when you walk your way up.

Yes, at this stressful moment of the year it is easy to hurt others without knowing. I realised as sometimes I felt hurt when I think the person has no intention whatsoever to do that. Equally, I think I could have easily done that sometimes without even realising it. Oh, I am truly sorry if I ever hurt any of you.

Life is a rat race. Everybody want to be the best. Even if the best means differently to different people, many of us still able tell kindness from ignorance.

It is easier to be kind when you have more than others, when you are superior to them.

But it is tougher to do so when you think they are just not trying hard enough, or they are not inferior enough to you.

However, the true challenge lies when you are faced with your rivals or even worse, the superiors. Jealousy won't take us anywhere but to the eerie hollow cave of the freaky green-eyed monster who will cripple our heart into streaks of smelly burnt leather.

Yup, lets try to do good at every concious moment (before this life drives us insane).

Note: To every single being all around me; who always being kind and brings light into darkness, I pray for you guys ease and happiness. Thank you, you have no idea how much your kindness heals the unseen wound. May I also able to bring to the world what all of you had brought into mine.

bateri lemah

2010-01-23T18:18:00.009Z

Gambar hiasan - tiada kaitan dengan entri. Ia saya ambil dari atas tren semasa dalam perjalanan ke Plymouth dari Bristol pada musim bunga tahun 2007. Saya kurang pasti lokasi sebenar. Barangkali sekitar Dawlish. Sekian.

Hari ini rasa kurang ceria dan tidak bermotivasi. Biasalah, weekend blues... Bila hujung minggu saja bateri mesti kong. Jadi, hujung minggu adalah masa untuk cas bateri, keluar pergi beli barang keperluan diri dan rumah, serta pergi study group.

Ya, saya ada beberapa alasan untuk stress dan mandom sekarang. Tapi malaslah mahu tuliskan sekarang. Tunggu semuanya kembali bagus baru mahu tuliskan. Agak-agaknya mungkin lama lagi, itulah yang Dublin City Council bagitahu. Tak apalah, saya masih ok lagi. Boleh bertahan lagi. Kadang-kadang selesa sangat pun tak jadi kerja jugak.

Senyumlah, senyum, senyum, senyum.
Senyum seindah suria.. Yang membawa cahya.. Senyumlah dari hati.. Duniamu berseri..

Tuhan itu Maha Penyayang. Dia Maha Tahu apa yang sebenarnya paling baik untuk kita. Barangkali ujian kecil yang diberiNya telah membantu kita melalui ujian yang lebih besar tanpa terlalu memikirkannya.

For indeed with hardship (will be) ease. Indeed, with hardship (will be) ease. [Al-Insyirah, 94:5-6]

Nota: Al fatehah untuk Almarhum Sultan Iskandar, semoga Allah merahmatinya. Salam takziah buat keluarga diraja dan seluruh rakyat Johor. Semoga Allah menggantikan yang baik dengan yang lebih baik.

bersemangatlah

2010-01-21T21:20:00.006Z

Saya suka letak kata-kata motivasi di papan notis depan meja belajar saya. Sebahagiannya saya dapat dari buku-buku yang saya pernah baca, ada juga yang saya dapat daripada kawan-kawan (maksudnya yang mereka letak di bilik mereka la) dan ada juga yang saya quote daripada pensyarah saya. Malah, kata-kata teguran atau motivasi daripada hati sendiri pun saya tampal juga.

Dulu, saya agak segan jugalah nak tampal kata-kata motivasi atau target pada dinding. Malu kenapa? Hmm, susah juga nak jawab. Barangkali sebab saya seorang yang sangat peribadi. Saya tidak suka menzahirkan apa yang saya fikir. Terasa berlaku pencerobohan minda jika ada orang lain membacanya. (Haha, ada unsur-unsur skizoprenia ni di sini.)

Tapi, kalau saya tampalkan pada dinding, saya akan selalu membacanya. Dan, selalulah juga saya mengingatkan diri saya agar lebih berusaha bersungguh-sungguh. Paling baik jika kata-kata yang ditampal itu datang dari hati kita atau daripada orang-orang yang dekat di hati kita. Ayatnya tidak perlu indah, tapi mesti memberi makna kepada kita.

Saya kongsikan satu kata-kata mudah daripada seorang professor Obs & Gynae semasa memberi introductory lecture kepada kami tahun lepas;
"the more you put into it, the more you get out of it"
Mudah saja kata-katanya. Tapi karisma beliau memenangi hati saya lalu menumbuhkan suatu kemahuan dalam diri saya.

Kalau kita mahukan sesuatu, kita mesti berani menyatakan kemahuan kita. Selepas itu, barulah kita akan jadi lebih berani untuk mengusahakannya.

No dream is too big or too small.
They are just meant to be turned into reality.

Nota: Selamat hari lahir kepada beberapa rakan seperjuangan: Hajar Salleh (11 Jan), Fatimah Zahra (16 Jan), Siti Radziah (21 Jan) dan semestinya sahabat tersayang, Siti Sarah Fazalul Rahiman (16 Jan). Semoga usia kalian diberkati Allah.

Nota tambahan: Dalam tutorial petang tadi Dr Ashgar Qasim kata,
"It's the final year. You guys have no choice but to become a doctor."

balik tak balik

2010-01-15T00:23:00.003Z

(Ok, saya janji pada diri mahu tulis sikit saja.)

Selepas final exam ada 2 bulan lebih sebelum conferring ceremony.
Persoalan. Persoalan. Persoalan.
"Mau balik Malaysia atau tinggal di Dublin saja?"
Sudah pusing-pusing fikir. Sekejap hati berat ke kanan, sekejap cenderung ke kiri. Huwaaa... sudahlah MAS dan Etihad tengah ada promosi ni!

Nota penting: Hari Isnin ada mock exam Medicine. Tidak penting. Tapi selaku pelajar perubatan yang mahu menjadi poyo, maka saya akan studi juga. Lalalalalala~ seronoknya belajar! (+_+)<<< ini saya sekarang.

(Cukup, sila sambung membaca ye Cik Jijah.)

10.01.10

2010-01-10T23:38:00.008Z

My first ever snowman. He lives in Cookstown LUAS stop behind AMNCH.

Sepuluh hari melewati tahun baru 2010. Ini entri nombor 111. Saya mahu mencoretkan perjalanan awal tahun baru ini, seminggu sesi akademik sudah bermula. Untuk saja-saja... bolehkan? Boleh juga ditoleh-toleh kelak bila mahu atau perlu.

1 Jan - Malam tadi tidur lewat gara-gara keluar bergambar selepas salji turun. Poyo sekali. Tak kisahlah, Dublin bukan selalu salji. Ramai orang di luar, pakcik-pakcik, orang dewasa, orang muda... semua orang jakun juga dengan salji di Dublin ni.

2 Jan - Penat sekali. Sambung membaca buku lagi. Ulang kaji Medicine. Hmm, menyabung nyawa (mata)...

3 Jan - Tiada agenda lain selain terus membuat ulang kaji. Malam tidak dapat tidur. Sudah tiga malam begini. Nervous betul nak mula kelas esok.

4 Jan - Salji yang terus-terusan turun menyebabkan bas bergerak sangat perlahan. Kelas jam 8.30 di Tallaght. Tutorial pertama dijadual semula. Hari yang stress. Banyak urusan-urusan leceh dan rimas.

5 Jan - Penat semalam masih bersisa. Kesejukan menyakitkan semua otot badan. Yang penting mesti terus poyo studi. Tak poyo tak boleh, haha.. Azam tahun ini tu, mahu menjadi lebih poyo.

6 Jan - Salji makin tebal. Perkhidmatan bas dihentikan. Terpaksa menapak pulang ke rumah. Mujurlah petang itu kami di James's saja.

7 Jan - Pagi: bas masih beroperasi hingga ke Tallaght. Petang: sudah tiada bas untuk pulang. Maka naiklah LUAS sampai Fatima dan jalan balik ke rumah. Untung juga ada adik-adik 4th year yang baru habis kelas Paeds. Siap dapat jalan pintas lagi. Haha, kalau tidak memusing la jawabnya.

8 Jan - Salji makin tebal. Tiada bas ke hospital. Menapak lagi ke Fatima kemudian ambil LUAS ke Tallaght. Petang pun begitu. Pemandangan salji di Dublin sangat cantik. Macam bukan Dublin! Tapi kalau dah lama begini makin mencabar nampaknya. Dingin, beku, licin, bahaya, penat, sakit, tiada bas, kereta terbabas... astaghfirullah...

9 Jan - Keluar mengambil gambar di Grand Canal selepas salji berhenti pada waktu tengah hari. Ramai orang keluar ke sana. Ada yang memberi makan itik dan angsa. Kasihan mereka canal beku, tiada makanan... Ramai juga yang membawa kamera masing-masing. Yang datang dengan tripod dan segala bagai juga ada.

10 Jan - Hari ini pergi membeli but. Haha, 4 tahun di sini tak pernah peduli tidak memiliki but. Bantai kasut Sketchers yang satu itulah saja ke hulu ke hilir. Tapi dah seminggu kaki basah, beku dan sakit meredah salji, mungkin but boleh membantu kurangkan kesusahan itu. Mesti selamatkan kakiku dari ischaemia yang berterus-terusan... kasihan kaki ni kan... hehe.

Mr Snowman yang diusahakan bersama Grace dan Teh. Dia tinggal di tepi Grand Canal, hobinya melihat itik dan angsa berenang-renang.

dublin snow

2010-01-02T22:17:00.013Z

I took this except from The Irish Times last week but didn't get the chance to publish the post until today. Why I'm copiying this article? Haaa... just because of 2 reasons. First, I would like to remember what happened now in many years to come and the second reason is the photo below. You could take it as you like but I'm taking it my way. Lalalalala~ "just do it, because what you want, matters."

This news was reported after the first snowfall of the season on the New Year's Eve. At that time, the snow was still not as much as it is today while I'm writing this post. How is it look like today? Hehe, I went out this morning for some photos. It was beautiful!

Kevin Cavey from Cabinteely in Co Dublin skiing along the Stillorgan Road yesterday. Photograph: Cyril Byrne

The Irish Times - Saturday, January 2, 2010
Cold spell set to become longest in over 40 years
by RONAN McGREEVY
THE COLD spell is set to become the longest since the winter of 1963 with no respite in prospect from the freezing temperatures. Most places had another sub-zero night last night with temperatures as low as -10 degrees in some places and snow in parts of Connacht and Ulster.

back to blog

2010-01-02T19:33:00.009Z

I know this photo has nothing to do with the rest of the entry but I was dying to post it somewhere. So please, allow me.

"Does the dress make a woman or is it the woman who makes the dress?" Grace was asking us while we were trying our newly bought clothes from the shopping spree earlier.

"Hmm.." I was thinking leisurely while busy admiring the tunic that I tried.

"It depends," hah, the usual politically correct me! I see it as a safe answer, allowing you to test the water and see how things are led to. "It can be both ways depending on the situation. But, most of the time I would say it is the dress that makes a woman. Unless it is an exceptionally badly made dress worn by an exceptionally beautiful lady."

There you go. We had several more lines on the topic which I'm not gonna write here, hehe. I'm just trying to justify why I was so put off to blog in the last 2 weeks or so. It was the design of this blog template that I was not happy with. Then, suddenly after I 'renovate' the template, I feel more excited to blog. I really think the vibe comes from the look of it.

And hey, I was even being very busy blog hopping this afternoon. It's amazing how much you can learn from reading other people blog. Plus, it's fun! It feels like sneakily reading someone's diary without them knowing, hehe.. siapa suruh tulis blog kan?

Anyway, back to the topic. I am happy that I'm blogging again. At least I can save some ears from hearing me whining endlessly or screaming like crazy or laughing on top of my lungs. For those who can't understand, I tell you this: girls need to let go their feelings or thoughts. Otherwise we can't sleep peacefully at night.

Okay, time to hit the absolutely mesmerizing and most wonderful book ever! I'm trying to be good here. Who reads boring academic books during their holidays? STUDENT!!! Opps, that's me~

Notes:

1. Congratulations to my best friend when I was in SMSLD, Ismahanim Idris who were married to her husband Tajul on the 01.01.10. I hate to miss your wedding my dear Hanim but I always always always pray for your happiness. May both of you have many many many cute children.

2. I hope this is not too late to wish my dear friend Mahanim Abdul Karim and her husband Fawazul Fazli who got married on 12.12.09. It was totally beautiful wedding! How I wish to be there with our friends. Aniem, I wish you endless happiness and of course many kids to come.

3. Last but not least, to Fadhilah Rashid and her husband Hafiz who were joined together last 26th December. I haven't see a lot of their wedding photos which I would love to. But, I pray for your happiness and lasting marriage.

mira

2010-01-02T10:16:00.005Z

Ini entri khas untuk adik saya yang terpaling sayang;

Amira

Pertama, tahniah kerana telah berjaya menamatkan B.Ed. TESL (Hons) dengan cemerlang gemilang dan terbilang pada bulan November lepas. Minta maaflah entri ni sangatlah terlewatkan. Tapi along sangat-sangat bangga dengan kamu.

Kedua, selamat memulakan tugas sebagai pendidik anak bangsa bermula Isnin 4 Januari 2010 di Sekolah Kebangsaan LKTP Selancar 2. Selamat jadi keluarga rival sekolah emak, hahaha habislah...

Mira,

Take all that you've become

to be all that you can be,

soar above the clouds and

let your dreams set you free.

Love,

Along

2010 bermula

2010-01-01T17:36:00.003Z

Jika diizinkan Allah, tahun 2010 akan jadi tahun yang sangat penting buat saya. Saya tidak suka terlalu mengharap kerana saya bukanlah seorang yang tabah untuk menelan kekecewaan. Tapi, tahun ini saya perlu berharap. Sangat-sangat berharap.

Ini tahun akhir saya di medical school. Tahun yang paling penting sepanjang 5 tahun menuntut di sini. Tahun yang penuh emosi, penuh debaran, penuh harapan, penuh ketegangan. Saya bercakap bukan sekadar daripada imaginasi sendiri tapi pengalaman tinggal serumah dengan pelajar-pelajar tahun akhir. Saya melihat kesungguhan, kerja keras, air mata dan senyuman kesyukuran mereka. Saya mahu mengikut jejak kejayaan mereka.

Maka, ini target paling penting tahun 2010:
Saya mahu menerima ijazah MB BCh BAO pada 28 Jun 2010

Ini keinginan yang perlu saya susuli dengan usaha. Pertempuran ini panjang dan saya punya banyak ketakutan. Tapi, Allah itu dekat kan... Ya Allah, saya mohon kepadaMu agar Kau permudahkan urusan kami, murahkan rezeki kami, kurniakanlah kesihatan dan kekuatan buat kami semuanya.

Salam tahun baru yang penuh dengan harapan.

terima kasih tuhan

2009-12-31T14:26:00.004Z

Tahun 2009.
Menoleh ke belakang menyorot semula perjalanan saya sepanjang tahun 2009 saya tersenyum.
Senyum bukan bagi pihak saya saja malah juga orang-orang yang saya kasihi.
Emak senyum, mendung makin jauh.
Abah pun senyum, semuanya makin baik.
Adik-adik juga masing-masing ada yang mereka capai.

Manis.
Tahun ini tahun yang manis.
Azam saya tidak semua tercapai, tapi saya tetap sangat gembira. Ada juga sedikit pahit-masin-masam terpalit di sana-sini. Tapi siapa peduli? Saya cuma mahu bergembira dengan kemanisan hari ini.

Alhamdulillah, syukur yang tidak terhingga kepada Tuhan yang Maha Pemurah. Kasih sayangNya pada kami tahun ini dizahirkan dengan nikmat yang melimpah. Semoga kami semakin bersyukur kepadaMu.

Agak sayu mengakhiri 2009.
Hukum alam patuh pada sunnatullah, masa tetap berlalu walaupun kita tidak mahu. Saya akan hadapi tahun 2010 dengan hati berani. Insya Allah...

rumah baru

2009-12-15T20:58:00.002Z

Arrrrrrgh... sungguh memenatkan nak tukar template baru untuk blog ni. Konon-kononnya nak guna template yang banyak didapati online. Huhu, sungguh kasihan sebab nak buat tu pun tak menjadi. Sampai penat bola-bola mata, heh. Nasib baik ada Optrex...

Nak menambahkan sedih lagi, saya dah terpadam template lama yang disimpan. Itulaa, nak sangat buat kerja masa penat. Kan dah silap. Sudah penat bertambah letih jadinya. Hampir saja putus asa.

Lepas tu tukar semula kepada template lama versi kurang-gemar-hasilnya. Memang berkepul-kepul jugaklah rasa tak puas hati tu. Geram sebenarnya... benda macam ni pun ambil masa. Saya cuma nak template yang simple sahaja. Ringkas-ringkas pun agak cerewet juga sebenarnya. Kalau tidak takkanlah susah sangat nak jumpa yang berkenan, kan?

Akhirnya, saya cuba edit sedikit customized template yang ada dalam layout option. Hmm, baru rasa selesa sikit. Masih ada yang saya kurang gemar. Warnanya sangat suram... tapi dah tak kuasa nak tukar-tukar lagi malam ni. Jadi pekerjaan pulak.

Kesimpulannya, penat tapi akhirnya agak puas hati. Sampai juga hajat saya nak tukarkan baju baru untuk blog ni. Alhamdulillah... mahu tidur dengan lena.

the dinner

2009-12-14T22:33:00.008Z

credit to whoever took this photo, isn't the colours brilliant?

It's December. It's end of school term. The exam is over. Friends coming over for a visit. Do we have enough reason to celebrate?

Okay, we actually just want to eat out together. Good food is a bonus. A must-have bonus, hehehe. So that is it. We chose Bon Ga, a korean restaurant in Capel St. It is one of few halal restaurant in Dublin. And its korean. Well, I should tell you that many of my housemates are crazy about korean drama, korean songs, korean boys, korean food, everything!

So, we set the date, book the place and be there! Although we do live together, we don't see each other as often as we should have. It's not a common occasion that we sit together for dinner. Thus, 15 euro for the 2 hours buffet and priceless bond together is amazing.

I totally totally loved the food! I'm a food lover anyway, but this is absolute heaven. Good thing I don't mind the calories, as long as nobody starts complaining I look fat.

For whoever who think I just swipe the health matters under the carpet, I proudly tell you that we went for a walk along Henry St, then down O Connell St, then all the way along the Liffey River past Burgh Quay down to the christmas market at IFSC, and all the way back again to O Connell St. How good was that?

Note: I did not dare to weigh myself after the dinner though *wink*

tour dublin 09

2009-12-13T21:54:00.014Z

Jadi, hari Jumaat kami nak jalan-jalan. Semalamnya tidur lambat. Jam 2 pagi. Agak susah jugak nak bangun. Alarm menjerit bersilih-ganti. Hehe...

Lepas solat kami nak sarapan. Donat malam tadi masih banyak. Adunan kuih kasturi yang tak sempat siap semalam pun ada. Mi Jawa yang San masak pun Hannim dan Nadia belum jamah. Ada pulak pasta yang Hannim bawa lagi. Wah... banyak betul untuk sarapan.

Ini gambar kuih kasturi yang kami cuba buat. Tak sedap macam beli kat kedai tapi bolehlaa...

Kami keluar sangat lewat. Apa tidaknya, asyik berbual je sepanjang masa. Tapi tak kisahlah. Memang niat nak mengeratkan silaturahim pun. Cuma agak kasihan pada Nadia sebab dia tak pernah sampai Dublin lagi. Mungkin dia lebih gembira kalau dapat melawat banyak tempat. Minta maaf ya, Nadia.

Kami ambil bas ke Aungier St, kebetulan depan Dublin Business School. Hannim ada kenal beberapa kawan di DBS, geng-geng akauntan. Lepas tu kami pergi ke RCSI. Masuk ambil-ambil gambar dan pusing-pusing sekejap, kami gerak ke St Stephen Green Park pulak.

Tempat ni memang cantik. Cuaca pulak sangatlah baik. Matahari memancar-mancar walaupun suhu masih agak rendah. Silap pulak rasanya pakai jaket buble yang tebal tu. Tapi sebab dah jangka akan pulang lewat, lebih baik bersedia kan... saya memang tak sanggup menangggung sejuk!

Destinasi seterusnya, meredah Grafton Street. I love this shopping street. Very much European. This is 6th most expensive shopping street in the world after 5th Avenue in New York, Causeway Bay in Hong Kong, Paris Avenue des Champs Elysées, New Bond Street in London and Tokyo Ginza.

Kemudian kami ke universiti tertua di Dublin, Trinity College Dublin. Macam biasa, mesti masuk The Books of Kells. Harga tiketnya dah naik lagi. 9 euro seorang. Sebagai seorang pelajar TCD, saya boleh masuk secara percuma dan membawa 3 orang tetamu secara percuma juga, yeay! Well, if you pay 27000 euro ++ per year to study here, it is a tiny tiny amount, right?

hannim datang dublin

2009-12-13T20:44:00.006Z

Entri ni khas untuk Hannim Mazuki, kawan baik saya semasa sama-sama menuntut di KYUEM. Hannim sekarang sedang bekerja di Ernst & Young Luton (dekat-dekat dengan London la jugak) sambil buat CA (hmm, orang-orang Accounting tahu la ni. Yang saya faham CA ni lebih kurang ACCA).

Hannim sebenarnya dah beritahu lama dah yang dia nak datang Dublin. Lepas tu terus senyap. Saya pun tengah sibuk nak exam. Taklah follow up sangat. Tiba-tiba dia dapat sms dia nak datang esok. Waaa~ bingung sekejap nak masak apa, nak bawa jalan-jalan pegi mana...

Rupa-rupanya Hannim pun baru habis exam juga. Patutlah dia pun senyap je. Allah tu Maha Merancang, elok-elok saja saya sudah habis exam. Dibuatnya dia datang saya masih ada exam yang belum selesai, alamatnya dia kena syok sendiri la merayau bandar Dublin ni.

Malam itu saya dan Yus pergi menjemput Hannim dan kawannya Nadia di Dublin Airport. Mulanya dah bagi direction untuk Hannim ambil bas saja dari sana ke simpang berdekatan rumah. Kebetulan sudah ada bas dari airport yang lalu di kawasan berhampiran kediaman kami. Senanglah juga tak payah tukar-tukar bas. Tapi Yus tak sedap hati pulak. Dia cadang kami ambil saja Hannim. Haa, saya pun senang hatilah. Ada kawan. Kalau tak, saya pun tak selesa keluar lewat-lewat malam seorang diri.

Seronok sangat-sangat masa jumpa Hannim dan Nadia. Nadia ni kawan Hannim semasa di Warwick dulu. Sekarang dia buat masters in antropology. Kami berbual tak henti-henti sepanjang perjalanan yang ambil masa lebih kurang sejam agaknya. Sampai di rumah, sambung berbual lagi sambil makan donat di dapur, lepas tu sambung borak lagi kat dalam bilik. Punyala banyak cerita.

Esoknya kami nak keluar jalan-jalan sekitar bandar Dublin dan makan malam di sebuah restoran Korea. Hmmm...

Gambar ni gegar sebab kami guna timer. Elok je kamera nak snap bas boleh jalan pulak, huhu...

sudah habis exam

2009-12-13T18:07:00.011Z

Ini entri nombor 101.

Saya sudah habis exam untuk tahun ini dan cuti winter dah bermula, yeay!!!

Gembira kan?

Gembira betul sampai jadi hypomanic and spending more than I should have, sob sob...

Paper terakhir habis pukul 11.00 pagi hari Rabu. Saya, One dan Grace terus pergi jalan-jalan di Grafton Street yang tersangatlah dekatnya dengan Trinity College Campus. Kami bukan saja jalan-jalan cuci mata, malah membeli-belah dan makan-makan juga. Sampai St Stephen Green Mall tutup la baru kami balik. Err, takla lambat sangat. Kat Dublin ni kedai-kedai dan shopping mall tutup sangat awal... pukul 7 malam.

Malam itu sangat penat. Habis satu badan sakit-sakit. Tak sedar diri betul berjalan-jalan. Mentang-mentanglah exam dah habis. Hello~ exam winter je. Exam besar yang tersangat-sangatla penting tak habis lagi... sila sedar diri sikit please!

Nota: Bangun pagi esoknya terperanjat baca mesej yang diterima jam 1.58 pagi..."Jij, Hannim sampai Dublin esok.." What?? Terus blank + tachycardic (err,maksudnya tu jantung berdegup kencang melebihi 100 degupan sesaat, hehe).

exam exam exam

2009-12-03T19:19:00.002Z

Friday 4th Dec - OSCE Opthalmology
Monday 7th Dec - ENT paper
Tuesday 8th Dec - Opthalmology paper
Wednesday 9th Dec - Psychiatry paper

Marilah berusaha!!!

mata dan hati

2009-12-03T12:53:00.005Z

Kita melihat dunia dengan mata kita
Kita menafsir penglihatan dengan fikiran kita
Kita merasa dunia dengan hati kita
Semuanya atas kita juga

Yang luas itu pandangan kita juga
Yang cantik itu fikiran kita juga
Yang damai itu hati kita juga
Akhirnya terpulang pada kita juga

Dunia memang macam ini dan macam itu. Ada benda baik yang berlaku, ada juga benda buruk yang terjadi. Tapi pada setiap yang kita tengok tetap kita yang pilih apa yang kita akan nampak. Ini semuanya biasanya kerja minda bawah sedar kita. But, we are the one who fed our subconscious mind over the years. You reap what you sown.

Sebab apa yang kita rasa banyak bergantung kepada keadaan hati kita, maka sayalah yang kena selalu beringat untuk bersihkan hati setiap kali terasa hati jadi sakit, fikiran kacau-bilau atau banyak perkara terlihat membencikan. Secara peribadi, saya rasa membersihkan hati bukan kerja mudah. Dah makin tua begini, makin keras degilnya. Tak boleh harap mak abah bebel dan rotan lagi. Kena usaha sendiri.

Takkanlah asyik nak melayan stres je setiap hari. Penatlah kalau macam tu. Memanglah ada sesetengah perkara tu kita patut rasa marah, sedih atau benci. Tapi ada juga benda yang kita tak perlu rasa atau fikir banyak sangat. Sebab mungkin apa yang terjadi tu sebenarnya tiada kena-mengena pun dengan kita. Wrap it up and throw it out. Period.

november is leaving

2009-11-30T21:26:00.006Z

Hari terakhir bulan November. Tomorrow November gonna be crossed off. Then only four months left. Four months. Four.

Minggu lepas saya posting ENT di RVEEH; Royal Victoria Eye and Ear Hospital . It was almost a hectic posting since we were supposed to be flying around 3 hospitals in Dublin 2, Dublin 6 and Dublin 24. Wow, as if we medical students own a helicopter each. Anyway, it was not the worst. I'll live it pretty happily.

This week is for Opthalmology posting and it should be more laid back. No. With the prospect of national strike again this Thursday and OSCE on Friday, things are unavoidably intense again. And the racist-like statement from the 'lady' just add nothing but annoyance.

Anyway, I'm having Opthalmology OSCE on Friday, and 3 written papers on Monday to Wednesday week. Time to focus and put aside the complaints about things. This is me. I have to be happy to be able to study. So, hopefully nothing will terribly upset me, ameen.

Oh, entri yang bercampur-campur bahasanya. Please excuse my cluttered state of mind.

Nota: Selamat hari lahir untuk kawan saya yang menyambut hari lahirnya hari ini. Semoga cepat-cepat dapat jodoh. Bosan dah tunggu kad jemputan ni, hehe.

Nota lagi: Tiba-tiba rasa nak dengar lagu kertas kekasih yang tak dianggap la pulak.

aidil adha 1430H

2009-11-29T22:35:00.004Z

Selamat Hari Raya Korban.
Semoga kali ini raya terakhir jauh dari tanah air.
Mesti belajar rajin-rajin semoga tahun depan boleh beraya dengan famili. Mak jangan sedih-sedih ya, tahun depan along balik insya Allah.

keep on moving

2009-11-24T21:52:00.009Z

Semalam sangat penat. Sakit kaki (the feet, the hips), sakit bahu, sakit satu badan. Lepas telan dua biji ubat ingat nak studi tapi tak larat. Akhirnya terpaksa juga tidur awal. Pagi ini bangun dengan badan yang masih sakit-sakit. Dah lama tak rasa bangun pagi macam ni. Things have been easy going for the past few weeks. But this is just a beginning. Next year everything gonna get crazy. And I have to be prepared.

Anyway,
I have gone through so much
I have come this far
There is just few bits left
I am going to give what it takes
To get what I've been working for

MB BCh BAO in April 2010
Insha Allah...amiin.

National Day of Protest

2009-11-21T09:48:00.005Z

Dear Staff and Students
The day of protest on Tuesday 24th November next is likely to causewidespread disruption. The university has a responsibility to deliver on itscommitments on that day provided that there is no undue health and safetyrisk incurred. It has been difficult so far to quantify the risk.
It is now clear that several categories of staff will be absent by choicefrom work on that day. In this context, an assessment of the health andsafety risk associated with running lectures and laboratory sessions thatday has been completed. The professional advice is that the risk isunacceptably high. In light of this, lectures and laboratory sessionsscheduled for November 24th will not take place, and will be facilitated ata later date.
Further details will be circulated on Monday and placed on the website.

Tony McMahon
Interim Chief Operating Officer
Trinity College Dublin
Dublin 2

Rasa-rasanya hospital cuti tak? Hmmm... mungkin tidak.

selamat berjuang

2009-11-18T10:20:00.005Z

Hari ini 18 November 2009 adik bongsu saya mula menduduki kertas pertama SPMnya. Ada 3 kertas hari ini; Bahasa Melayu kertas 1 dan 2 serta Sejarah kertas 1.

Amzar, buat betul-betul ok.

Along doakan Ja dapat semua A+...ameen.

bicara dua

2009-11-14T08:38:00.005Z

Kau,
Yang diukir cerita luka
Dakwat air mata saja selaut
Parah duka haruslah berdarah
Mahunya apa?

Bukan niat meraih simpati
Takkan mahu serpih perhatian

Heh, aku jadi penat
Seringkalinya sampai mati hati
Cukup!

Oh... pentingkan diri sendiri ya…

Siapa?
Akukah?!
Senyum. Ketawa. Gembira.
Apa yang kau tahu?

Kau matahari

mawar berduri

2009-11-13T18:44:00.013Z

Prickly Rose, Rosa acicularis

This pretty shrub is found throughout Alaska and is common in clearings and sunny openings in forested habitat. The five-petaled pink flowers are visible June to early July; in the fall, the bright red hips stand out against green vegetation. Alaska gardeners may tell you that this is one of the most tenacious “weeds” in the garden. The rose spreads through suckers and once established, is nearly impossible to eradicate from a plot without extensive digging, tilling, and pulling. The miniscule thorns can be quite irritating – and difficult to remove due to their small size.
On the other hand, this plant has myriad uses. The petals can be used in salads or steeped in hot water for a fragrant tea. The most common use, however, is harvest of the the red fruits, or hips. They are loaded with vitamin C and can be eaten right off the bush (though they are quite tart and seedy) or processed into jam, tea, or syrup. Rose hips also contain significant amounts of vitamins A, B, E, and K, as well as the minerals calcium, iron, and phosphorus. Since they are prolific and widespread, it is not difficult to gather a substantial amount after fall’s first frost.
Source: http://www.bellaonline.com/

Saya sebenarnya menemukan artikel ini semasa mencari-cari nama bunga yang tumbuh di belakang rumah kami. Gambar bunga ni saya ambil semasa musim bunga tahun lepas gara-gara 'dipaksa' seorang teman. Langsung tak terlintas di fikiran saya bahawa bunga ini sejenis ros sehinggalah saya terpandangkan batang bunga ini dijual di Lidl (salah satu pasaraya yang ada di Dublin) dengan label '... rose'. Apabila sampai di rumah, kononnya nak namakanlah gambar yang saya ambil. Tapi lupa pulak namanya. Maka, google je la.

Susah juga nak cari nama bunga ni. Klu yang ada cuma ia sejenis ros yang kurang glamour. Rupa-rupanya ada lebih 150 jenis ros dalam dunia ni. Hampir putus asa saya dibuatnya. Lepas jumpa namanya, tak sangka pula bunga ni banyak ditemukan di Alaska. Malah, banyak pula kegunaannya. Mungkin musim bunga nanti saya boleh cuba minum teh bunga ros atau makan buah pokok ni. Macamlah saya akan ingat untuk buat semua ni bila tiba saatnya nanti. Hehe.

Tapi, saya sangat berharaplah saya dah kenalpasti bunga ni dengan betul. Kalau tidak, boleh keracunan dibuatnya nanti. Teringat cerita seorang kawan yang teringin nak makan ulam raja masa balik kampung. Disuruhnyalah si adik ambil pucuk ulam raja kat belakang rumah. Elok dia kunyah saja terus rasa semacam. Sebenarnya yang dia makan tu bukan pucuk ulam raja tapi pucuk bunga tahi ayam. Kesian betul. Dahlah mengidam, tersilap makan pulak. Hehehe, saya mesti senyum-senyum bila nampak ulam raja pasal cerita kawan saya ni lah.

Hmm, tajuk entri ni agak mengada la pulak jika nak dibandingkan dengan isinya. Nasibla labu... dah takde idea ni.

code red

2009-11-11T09:32:00.005Z

November 10 2009, I attended the ALERT course. It was a one-day course designed to teach healthcare staffs how to anticipate, recognise and hopefully prevent critical illness at an early stage hence the name ALERT (Acute Life-threatening Events - Recognition and Treatment).

This course was never part of our medical school curriculum. I think it still not part of it this year. It was introduced for the first time this year for us medical students in TCD. Usually this course was part of healthcare workers i.e doctors and nurses' job development courses.

The course took the whole yesterday in St James Hospital's Postgraduate Centre in the morning then moving to the new Clinical skills lab under the mortuary. Despite the fact that it was quite a long day and somehow all the radiators was working below expectation, I love the course. I really like it.

The instructors involved this time were ICU nurses in SJH. 4 instructors for 25 students. Pretty small group, very good teaching and they are absolutely brilliant! Knowing that we are final year students who gonna be the interns working with them from next 1st of July (that's when new interns start all over Ireland, unlike Malaysia), they throw out some beneficial tips and share their experience with us.

In the afternoon, we all got the chance to discuss and lead the management of some critical scenarios that are going to haunt us on our on calls: hypotension, altered consciousness, breathing difficulties, collapse, vomiting blood. Somehow these scenarios prefer to occur at night while we are alone, on call in the 'darkness'. And this course gave us some confidence on how to sort some of the junior doctors nightmares.

Freezing, tired but happy. I went home feeling time and money well-spent yesterday. Definitely recommend this course to all my colleagues.

Nota: Segan jugak la bila terima agak banyak (bagi saya banyak la tu...) respon daripada kawan-kawan yang membaca blog ni. Itulah, gatal sangat tangan tu nak menulis hal yang peribadi, kan dah malu...huhu. Err, nanti saya balas respon-respon anda ya. Sekarang ada sedikit sibuk.

like writing on the stone

2009-11-09T20:04:00.004Z

Just now, I was skimming through some of my older entries in this blog since 2007 when I start smiling, smirking, giggling... They actually bring back a lot of memories even though I wrote very little and left out most of important moments in my life. I do wish I wrote more, leaving little notes on things I went through from time to time.

So, I will try to write more in the time to come. Yet I do bear in mind that I will get very busy and caught up with studies and other fun stuffs in life but, I will try.

No promise, but strong wish.

Note: I don't like this blog template very much. Would love to change it but may take very long. Hmm...ergh!

happy birthday abah

2009-11-03T21:01:00.003Z

Selamat Hari Lahir

untuk abah yang tersayang

(Gambar hiasan - ini kek nostalgia, haha... drama, drama, drama)

rosy day

2009-10-30T19:25:00.004Z

Hari ini saya gembira...lalalalala~

Semalam yang stress dan merimaskan sudah pergi.
Hari ini saya sepatutnya ada kursus BLS (Basic Life Support) di Tallaght pada jam 0900. Dalam bengang-bengang semalam sempat juga saya habiskan nota-nota BLS yang dikirim oleh tutor melalui emel.

Pagi tadi saya bangun awal. Yalah, semalam pun tidur awal sebab geram tak boleh studi. Nak telefon Mira kasihan pulak menganggu dia pagi-pagi buta di Malaysia. Maka tidurlah... Tadi bangun-bangun saja sudah hepi, hehe...

Saya bersiap lebih awal, dan ambil keputusan untuk datang awal ke hospital. Ada Grand Round pada pukul 8. Hari ini Prof Ian Graham bagi presentation "A Rose by any other name!". Prof Graham ni salah seorang pensyarah saya. Kalau sesiapa yang berada dalam bidang medik ni mungkin tahu tentang SCORE, sistem mengira risiko kematian akibat penyakit jantung. Dialah salah seorang pelopor sistem tersebut.

Selalunya saya tidaklah rajin sangat untuk menghadiri acara-acara di luar silibus ni, tapi mood baik punya pasal saya pergi juga. Selepas Grand Round ada sarapan yang sedap (sebab ada danish pastry yang saya suka, yummy~) dan kemudian BLS!!

Kursus BLS untuk dewasa, kanak-kanak dan bayi ini sebenarnya tidaklah lama sangat. Ini kursus pembaharuan. Saya sudah pernah membuatknya pada tahun yang sudah. Kami cuma diberi taklimat yang pantas tetapi lengkap sebelum diuji secara praktikal. Di akhir kursus ada satu kertas MCQ untuk dijawab. Jika lulus, kami akan diberi sijil untuk 2 tahun. Lepas tu kena renew lagi (dan bayar yuran lagi, hehe)...

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

Nota: Saya dan semua rakan yang hadir kursus tadi sudah lulus dengan gembira.

kena panah

2009-10-29T18:45:00.009Z

Tak tahu nak luahkan pada di mana atau pada siapa yang paling sesuai. Akhirnya kat sini jugaklah saya melambak luahan fikiran dan perasaan. Haru betul hari ni. Tak jumpa di mana silapnya sampai jadi macam ni hari ini. Rasa-rasanya Chicken Adobo resepi Filipina yang Christine masak semalam tak ada kaitan dengan kejadian-kejadian aneh hari ni.

Sebenarnya bukanlah aneh sangat perkara yag berlaku hari ini. Tapi kalau dah 3 peristiwa hampir serupa berlaku pada hari yang sama saya jadi musykil juga. Itupun saya sangat suspicious dan berusaha mengelak yang keempat memunculkan diri. Aduh!

Saya kena panah cupid ke? Atau ada orang simbah dengan minyak pengasih ke? Alahai... saya yang dah buat silap apa pulak ni... Hmm, ini pantun khas untuk diri saya sendiri:
Dalam semak ada duri
Ayam kuning buat sarang
Orang tamak selalu rugi
Bagai anjing dengan bayang-bayang
(Saya masih ingat lagi lukisan yang ditampal dalam buku latihan BM semasa belajar pantun ini.)

Saya tak mahulah cerita satu-persatu apa yang terjadi. Tapi nak jugak luahkan perasaan kan, makanya tulislah sekerat-sekerat. Ergghh! Perasaannya bercampur-campur. Takla sedap sangat macam air batu campur yang sejuk dan manis. Rasa yang ini acah-acah manis campur pahit tambah masam dengan masin.

Kala kita makin dewasa, lebih banyak hati untuk dijaga. Saat kita memilih kita fikir kita sudah sanggup hadapi semuanya. Tapi siapa tahu masa depan, bukan? Apa-apa pun, semua dah selesai (harap-harapnya lah)... Saya dah cuba uruskan semuanya sebaik yang termampu hari ini. Mohon maaf yang amat sangat jika ada hati-hati yang tercalar terguris dengan kelemahan saya menyusun kata. Sebenarnya terlalu sukar untuk saya hampakan kalian. Malah saya sungguh berterima kasih atas perhatian kalian. Tetapi, ada perkara yang patut dilakukan juga walaupun kita tidak gembira melakukannya.

Alhamdulillah, saya tetap menganggap semuanya rahmat dari Tuhan. Dia yang mencampakkan rahmat-Nya pada siapa yang Dia kehendaki. Tapi, saya juga tak tahu kalau-kalau ia merupakan 'tanda' supaya saya melakukan sesuatu. Atau, barangkali juga ini sekadar ujian untuk saya meskipun saya masih kabur maksud di sebalik semuanya.

Hari ini saya mengulang kenyataan yang jarang-jarang saya nyatakan. Saya ulang berkali-kali. Moga ditetapkan hati saya. Moga kata-kata menjadi doa. Amiin.

Nota: Hujung minggu lepas saya sempat mengambil gambar di Grand Canal (parit besar?) of Dublin yang berdekatan sahaja dengan rumah. This photo has been heavily edited since the original photo was slightly blurred. Well, my camera is only 7MP and it doesn't come with a telephoto lens. Ada sesapa nak belanja DSLR? Wahahaha...

tunggu pelangi

2009-10-16T14:11:00.005+01:00

Beberapa minggu kebelakangan yang saya hadapi memang begitu menguji. Sehinggakan saya sangat 'penat' dan 'letih' menghadapi pelbagai kerenah manusia sekeliling. Bukanlah saya maksudkan semuanya. Tapi adalah beberapa yang menekan perasaan dan fikiran saya. Ditambah pula dengan kesabaran saya yang lebih nipis dari kulit bawang ini, fikiran jadi makin kecamuk, pertimbangan pula teroleng-oleng.

Saya mesti jadi lebih kuat, jadi lebih rajin, jadi lebih sabar. Saya akan bekerja dan berhubung dengan manusia seluruh hidup saya. Macam-macam perangai lagi yang akan menguji kematangan diri. Apa saja yang datang, apa saja yang berlaku, saya mesti redha, mesti redha, mesti redha. Moga-moga ini semua latihan yang bakal membentuk diri saya yang lebih baik dan membawa kebaikan.

Ya Allah, Tuhan yang Maha Besar rasa kasih dan sayang-Nya, ampunilah ya Allah segala dosa dan kesalahanku. Ya Rahman, kekalkanlah hamba-Mu ini dalam jagaanMu setiap masa. Ya Rahiim, janganlah Engkau tinggalkan hamba-Mu ini walau sesaat ya Allah. Sesungguhnya, tiada penjaga sebaik Tuhan yang Maha Esa. Amiin ya rabbal 'alamiin.

hakisan rasa

2009-10-13T12:29:00.004+01:00

Minggu lepas dan minggu ini saya ditempatkan bersama Breast/General Surgery Team di St James's Hospital. Ada 3 orang kosultan dalam team ini. Kes-kes yang ditangani oleh team ini kebanyakannya berkaitan penyakit-penyakit di bahagian abdomen seperti sakit perut (??? ya, sakit perut), pankreas, usus dan juga kes-kes kanser payudara.

Seperti biasa, kami pelajar-pelajar perubatan ini akan menyertai ward round seawal jam 7.30 pagi kemudian menemui beberapa orang pesakit untuk berlatih history taking dan physical examination. Selain itu, ada juga klinik dan MDM (multi-disciplinary meeting). Kali ini kami pakat-pakat tak mahu masuk ke teater bedah kerana kami sudah puas membosankan diri berdiri di dalam teater sepanjang tahun 3 dulu. Lagipun, tidak banyak yang boleh dipelajari di dalam bilik sejuk itu.

Saya sendiri telah berbual dengan beberapa orang pesakit yang disahkan menghidap kanser payudara. Sebahagian mereka telah menjalani WLE (wide local excision) atau mastectomy (membuang payudara). Susah saya nak katakan apa yang saya rasa apabila pesakit enggan melihat sendiri parut mereka. Saya bayangkan tentu ia sesuatu yang sukar untuk mereka terima, cuma masa yang akan mengisi kehilangan tersebut.

Tetapi, apabila berbual dengan mereka, saya sebenarnya sangat kagum dengan kebanyakan mereka. Mereka sangat tabah. Malah, apabila saya meminta kebenaran untuk berlatih mengambil kes dan membuat pemeriksaan, mereka tidak teragak-agak untuk membantu. Padahal sudah saya katakan yang semua ini untuk tujuan latihan saya sendiri sahaja. Lebih mengharukan apabila berterima kasih pula kepada saya sedangkan mereka yang membantu saya belajar.

Walau bagaimanapun, simpati saya sebenarnya habis di situ saja. Sebaik sahaja saya berjumpa pesakit lain, saya akan fokus kepada mereka pula. Apabila pulang ke rumah pula, saya hanya akan fikirkan tentang timbunan buku-buku yang perlu dibaca dan segala senarai panjang yang mesti dihafal.

Hipokrit? Tak ada perasaan? Mementingkan diri sendiri? Apa lagi?
Inilah yang kami bincangkan sambil minum kopi di bilik seminar radiologi pagi semalam. Apabila diingat-ingat kembali, kami tidak begini semasa kami mula-mula masuk tahun 1 dahulu. Sekali dengar betullah juga kata salah seorang pensyarah kami dahulu, "Medical school is a place where you will be contaminated dan 'humanity' to be eroded..."

Tapi kami bertiga tidak bersetuju dengan beliau. Dan saya pasti beliau cuma berjenaka. Empati dalam diri kami sudah menjadi salah satu etika kerja. Sama seperti kualiti-kualiti lain yang perlu diamalkan semasa bekerja. Perasaan itu tidak dan tidak sepatutnya menjadi sesuatu yang bersifat peribadi. Ia seperti satu mekanisma pertahanan terhadap kesihatan mental para pengamal perubatan.

Kadang-kadang kami terbawa-bawa peranan ini ke luar hospital. Apabila ini terjadi, adalah pula pihak yang mugkin berkecil hati nanti. Seolah-olah kami tidak cukup mengambil berat. Saya setuju kami tidak patut bersikap demikian. Tapi bukankah kami juga manusia biasa, yang boleh lupa, penat dan sakit?

Saya harap saya akan dapat memberi jagaan yang baik kepada bakal pesakit saya, dapat menjaga kesihatan diri sendiri dan menjaga hati kawan-kawan dan ahli keluarga apabila saya berjaya menjadi doktor kelak. Semua orang ada hak. Dan semua orang juga ada tanggungjawab.

Responsibilities over rights.

cerita komputer saya

2009-10-11T17:37:00.002+01:00

Laptop saya bermasalah sejak hari Jumaat yag lepas. Inilah akibatnya apabila tidak peduli untuk update perisian antivirus. Saya memang ambil mudah hal-hal sebegini. Yakin sangat dengan halaman-halaman yang saya lawati. Sudahnya laptop tua saya ni dijangkiti malware.

Berkali-kali saya cuba conservative measure. Kononnya nak selamatkan fail-fail yang ada lah kan... Paling saya sayang ialah gambar-gambar yang diambil semasa balik cuti musim panas ke Malaysia Julai dan Ogos yang lepas. Gambar-gambar yang lain saya simpan dalam hard disk. Akhirnya saya berjaya juga selamatkan gambar-gambar tersebut.

Tapi, banyak infected files yang gagal dihapuskan. Maka saya terpaksa reformat laptop saya. Sudahlah saya ni rabun ayam pasal komputer. Grace, rakan serumah saya banyak sangat membantu. Semuanya dah selesai. Saya cuma mahu install perisian antivirus yang bagus saja lagi. Sekarang saya guna trial version McAfee. Setakat ini semuanya baik-baik saja.

Jadi, selepas ini saya mesti rajin-rajin bersabar untuk update perisian antivirus. Nasib saya baik kali ini. Tapi ada bagusnya juga. Saya memang mahu reformat laptop saya. Selalunya saya akan buat overhaul setahun sekali. Tahun ini saja saya tidak berkesempatan menghantar laptop saya ke 'bengkel'. Sibuk lari ke sana-sini. Posting elektif di Kuantan, sekejap balik rumah abah di Lepar Utara, sekejap balik rumah emak di Selancar, mana nak balik kampung lagi, mana nak uruskan pindah rumah baru lagi...

Nota: Saya ada mahu tulis sesuatu hari Jumaat yang lepas. Tapi, hari ini saya dah lupa lah pulak. Lain kali sajalah nampaknya.

mentari muncul lagi, hari sudah pagi

2009-10-08T21:29:00.006+01:00

Alhamdulillah, sudah rasa lebih bersemangat sehari dua ini.

Semalam tidak masuk wad. Ada lecture di AMNCH Trinity Centre. Walaupun tidak dapat tangkap semua yang disampaikan (otak saya masih kurang RAM berbanding pensyarah-pensyarah saya!) tapi banyak yang dipelajari.

Saya paling suka lecture Emergency Medicine tentang Shock. Apa ya dalam bahasa Melayu? Terperanjat?? Ohoo... mungkin tidak. Siapa tahu tolonglah beritahu saya nanti. Tapi jika Konsultan Perubatan Kecemasan (cewah... translasi yang baik ni) Dr J Gray bercakap lebih jelas mungkin saya akan lebih gembira. Irish accentnya memenatkan saya menumpukan 112% perhatian.

Hari ini pula saya berjumpa Triona buat pertama kali. Dia tutor clinical skills yang baru di St James Trinity Centre. Clare yang baik hati itu sedang cuti bersalin. Saya sangat terharu dengan kesungguhannya melayan kami. Sebenarnya, sebelum ini saya based (nanti saya fikirkan bahasa Melayunya) di AMNCH. Jadual kami sedikit berbeza. Dia sanggup mengajar saya seorang demi memastikan saya tidak tertinggal prosedur tersebut. Malah, dia mengajar dengan bersungguh-sungguh! Sedangkan saya tahu dia sangat sibuk.

Betapa beruntungnya saya kan? Saya dikelilingi oleh orang-orang yang dedikasi dan proaktif. Banyak yang saya boleh pelajari dengan hanya bersama mereka. Focus on the bright side!

Nota: Semalam saya sangat merindukan adik saya Mira. Minggu lepas dapat bercakap sekejap sahaja di telefon. Hujung minggu ini mesti mahu telefon dia lagi =)

Nota: Tahniah untuk rakan baik saya, Sarah yang mendapat tawaran melanjutkan pelajaran peringkat Sarjana di UPM. Sarah akan buat kajian dalam bidang immunologi, subjek yang saya minati semasa dalam tahun 3 dulu.

bencinta

2009-10-06T21:31:00.002+01:00

Hari ini terasa seperti berada di alam pelarian. Ya, mungkin itu diskripsi yang paling hampir untuk membayangkan fikiran saya sepanjang hari ini.

Bangun pagi saja sudah hati sudah berbolak-balik. Tak ketahuan. Malas? Mahu? Takut? Letih? Sudah saya katakan tak ketahuan. Sudahnya saya tidur semula. Terbangun saja sudah jam 6.50 am barangkali. Kelam kabut ke bilik air dan solat. Sudah lambat untuk berjalan ke hospital. Dengan fikiran yang hanyut, saya tunggu bas dalam dingin subuh dan hujan renyai-renyai dengan perasaan yang kosong.

Hari ini pulang ke rumah lebih awal dari biasa. Sepatutnya saya isi masa dengan belajar. Tapi memang susah bertambah susah. Saya sekadar merayau-rayau di alam siber tanpa arah tujuan. Tanpa minat. Dan tentunya tanpa hasil.

Lepas Maghrib, saya cuba menenangkan hati dengan membaca Quran. Sekejap sahaja. Bermacam perkara berlari-lari dalam minda. Urusan-urusan yang tiada asal-usul dan hujung pangkalnya, yang tiada perlu, tiada pentingnya. Yakah? Usai Isyak saya solat sunat taubat dan hajat. Ini ubat tahan sakit tau.

Saya tahu kerinduan-kerinduan saya. Pada kenyataan dan erti kehidupan. Saya sedar letih perit jerih payah itulah yang memaniskan hidup dan melenakan malam saya. Tapi, umpama cemburu saya pada ilmu dan dengki saya pada buku, segala perang ini akan berterusan.

Saya tahu.
Dan saya tahu tidak cukup sekadar tahu.

sayang blog

2009-10-05T17:33:00.002+01:00

Sayang anak tangan-tangankan
Sayang isteri tinggal-tinggalkan

Agaknya saya sayang juga la pada blog ni. Kewujudannya lebih sering terlupakan daripada teringatkan...

Tahun ini, insya Allah akan jadi tahun terakhir saya di Dublin. Bila saya sebutkan 'tahun' saya seringkali perlu menjelaskan bahawa 'tahun' saya bermula pada bulan September dan berakhir bulan Jun. Yang bulan Julai dan Ogos tu kadang-kadang masuk tahun sebelumnya, kadang-kadang hilang begitu saja.

Tahun akhir. Banyak yang saya debarkan. Dan saya ada masalah meluahkan 'rasa'. Semacam tidak selamat. Seolah-olah ada badi yang menunggu. Hah, tahyul!

Aduhai...

club 24

2009-06-02T22:47:00.004+01:00

welcome to da club babe~

tak perlu ke pantai

2009-05-03T13:23:00.005+01:00

aku ingin ke pantai
melihat ombak
ombak berhempas
tak jemu
pantai pun begitu

aku duduk di pantai
melihat langit
langit luas
melapang sempit dada
mengisi dengan udara

kalau aku ke pantai
diamlah bersamaku
begitu
kau tak perlu fahamiku
aku

babbles

2009-03-17T09:02:00.003Z

I realised that my side panels are awfully out of date. Even some of the links are no longer exists. I'll do something about it once I feel like. But I do have to give myself some credits. I changed the layout of this blog recently. Hehe, it wasn't anything near challenging level.

Today is St Patrick Day. One of very few public holidays in ROI. Basically, it is a ay to remember the Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. All I know that he was famous for driving snakes off this island. (Thus we got no snake in this country, yeay!).

There's usually a very big parade in the city every year. This is my fourth year here and I've never been to any of the famous St Patrick Day Parade. May be next year... but I just found out that SPD was orinally a religious celebration but being made national event by the government ( to attract flood of tourists??). So, hmm...

Anyway, I got study group today at Ezzah's place on Pembroke Road. SPD have to wait, daa~

Cory Doctorow says

2009-03-15T22:18:00.003Z

Abnormal is so common, it's practically normal.
Little Brother, 2008

Never underestimate the determination of a kid who is time rich and cash poor.
Little Brother, 2008

All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets.
Someone Comes To Town, Someone Leaves Town, 2005

It's not necessarily about what career you pick. It's about how you do what you do.
Someone Comes To Town, Someone Leaves Town, 2005

Aku Menjadi Lebih Berani

2009-03-15T14:44:00.003Z

Nukilan: Latifah Hj Shebli

kali ini kau berbaju biru
dan bajuku ungu

sayang, hanya aku tahu
hatimu tidak setulus hatiku
yang berbaju ungu

bila begini,
sebilah pisaumu aku tidak gentar
sepatah kata bisa, aku merasa
hati dan rasa mengajarku
aku menjadi lebih berani

Saya suka sajak ni sejak di tingkatan empat lagi. Mungkinkah sebab tertarik dengan baju ungu dan baju biru? Haha, I am such a superficial and simplistic person.

study group

2009-03-14T18:16:00.002Z

Alhamdulillah, I just finished our 4-hour study group right here in my room. Thanks to Kak Aisyah and Ezzah who came all the way to share our knowledge and strengthen our sisterly bonding.

This afternoon, we managed to cover a few topics:
1. Spina Bifida
2. Cerebral Palsy
3. Paeds Surgery - Groin lumps
4. Non-bile vomiting
5. Respiratory Infections
6. Asthma

OSCE is 5 days away i.e on 19th March 2009.
May Allah bless our effort. Ameen.

apa nak jadi ni?

2009-03-13T21:32:00.001Z

Percaya atau tidak, hari ini saya tak studi langsung. Langsung!
Totally nothing at all!!!
Sakit jiwa apa...

lawatan sambil belajar

2009-03-10T20:25:00.003Z

Hari ini saya dan beberapa kawan sekelas yang sedang membuat rotation pediatrik pergi melawat The Children Sunshine Home. Saya tak tahulah macam mana nak letak link kat blog ni. Tapi, inilah websitenya http://www.sunshinehome.ie/ Wah, rasa buta IT betul.

Saya taklah teruja sangat nak ke sana. Tapi, saya memang kagum dengan kesungguhan mereka menyediakan kemudahan dan perkhidmatan terbaik untuk kanak-kanak kurang upaya supaya mereka mendapat kualiti hidup yang optimum.

Bagi saya, hendak mula membuat sesuatu saja sudah susah, apatah lagi istiqamah mengerjakannya walau apa sekalipun cabaran yang datang adalah jauh lebih susah. Barangkali saya perlu lebih banyak menginsafi dan mencontohi orang-orang komited seperti staf-staf di TCSH.

ps: semalam saya sudah tampal kata-kata mutiara pada papan notis saya.

PASSION, PERSEVERANCE, POSITIVE

Taklah sedap sangat bunyinya, takpe, nanti saya cuba lagi...

smell something?

2009-03-09T21:53:00.004Z

Rasa macam nak buat sesuatu dengan blog ni...

Belum tahu lagi nak buat ke tak. Kalau nak pulak, nak buat apa ye?
Hmm, mula-mula rasa nak buat tong sampah. Tapi macam kasihan sangatlah pulak. Mungkin boleh buat kertas conteng-conteng...

Tak apa, nanti fikir. Sekarang nak plan macamana nak pergi Children Sunshine Home kat Leopardstown esok. Hmm, dah tahu jalan tapi nak cari kawan. Atau, mungkin patut terima pelawaan Johnny untuk pergi sama-sama. Seganlah pulak. takpe, kita cari idea lain dulu.

had I?

2009-02-08T22:20:00.003Z

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood,
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
wo woods diverged in a wood,
and I- I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I had chosen the road, far and further it takes...hurt and pain claiming sweat and tears...tell me why I have to hold on?

rumah tinggal

2009-02-08T22:17:00.000Z

hmm, melawat rumah tinggal yang dah lama sunyi.

i am a pear

2008-11-21T01:28:00.007Z

I took this personality test online. Just before heading to bed. I'm hoping to get some sleep with this blocked nose.

So, what fruit am I? A pear.

I do agree with some of the descriptions, happy with a few others and unsure about the rest. The test might be inaccurate or I just didn't pick the accurate answer.

Anyway, I do enjoy sweet juicy ripe pear. Ah, may be I should get some of them from the Moore Street market tomorrow.

You Are a Pear

You are independent, intelligent, and a free thinker.

You can accomplish great things, especially when you do them on your own.

You are direct, honest, and sometimes even a bit brutal.

There's not much that gets in the way of you and your ambition.

While you are hard nosed, you do have a much sweeter side to you.

It takes times for you to soften toward someone, but once you do, you'll be their friend for life.

any chemist well stock?

2008-11-19T19:25:00.005Z

I honestly pity this blog. Hidup segan mati tak mahu. But I'd rather keep it for the meantime. I may wake up after the winter ends.

Today was a better day than a couple of days before. However, I had a problem which only settled a few minutes ago. It was nothing of a problem actually. I was trying to renew my library loans online since morning. Three books are due at 9.45pm tonight. However, I can't logged in. The reasons given are my student ID number is not recognised or the server is busy.

Okay, I assumed the latter. Then my laptop acted up. Hmmph, I guess it was because of the new antivirus programme that I use. After my laptop gained conciousness, I tried again, and again, and again... and still failed to get in. Half furious, half anxious, I tried again. Still.

Okay, I just get my ID card. There you are! I think you know what had been happening all along. I got my ID number wrong. The number that I've been using frequently over more than three years!

Ahh... may be I can choose to blame everything on the weather. I wasn't in my top form these days. Not so much of depression (obviously I don't even have reason for that!) but I just feel like sleeping all the time. Then, yesterday my sore throat was worsening and I started to cough. In the evening, I already started to add on sneezing and muscle pain on my list of symptoms. Today, I added runny nose on top of worsened cough, swollen tonsils and tight chest. Now, may I give my impression?

Subsyndromal Seasonal Affective Disorder (SSAD) or winter blues and Non-allergic Rhinitis (has nothing to do with winter months).

Okay, enough making myself feel like a hypochondriac.

I think they are a bit too much, too harsh. I'm not sick!

But may be Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) or Benadryl (dipenhydramine) could offer some help. Hmm, but I don't feel like going out to the chemist.

ps: I knew winter is challenging my will the day I set my feet here in Dublin. I knew it all along.

it's november

2008-11-01T11:46:00.003Z

Eh, today is November the first.

So... what does that mean? I've been neglecting this blog for a good half a month. Yeah, the usual reasons (or to be exact excuses!) being busy, being lazy, being moody, being way too happy...

Hmm, may be i'll go the more traditional way. Writing journal. Haha, just like a-level years. We'll see. For the moment, I enjoy reading blog to writing.

Salam.

is it about time?

2008-10-13T13:13:00.002+01:00

disclaimer: this is not important. don't waste your time.

the background:
I have signed up for facebook for a year minus a few days. Haven't been an active user since I find it a bit too much. In addition, I am a satisfied user of friendster. It is just enough to keep me in touch with my friend.

now:
Many of my friends are using facebook. Some of them still keeping the fs account up to date while the others can't be bothered to open them. In the past few months, I keep receiving friend's request notifications through my email. Plus, I had recently discover my long forgotten fb password. Therefore, I added e few friends and explore a bit more about fb.

so?
I don't really want to keep up with two virtual socialising 'thing' (can't think of the right term at the moment) because my hands and legs are pretty much tied up in the lecture halls, tutorial rooms and study table.

Okeh,
got the answer. It's not the time yet.

Daa~la la la...

i'm back

2008-10-04T12:18:00.002+01:00

this blog got to wait,
i've lots to be sorted a.s.a.p

lets start a new academic year with a laugh:
hahahaha

;) get serious!

post exam syndrome

2008-06-20T09:35:00.003+01:00

I need a goal to run to...

It was less than 24 hour since I'm done with my exam this year but I was already restless. Funny, I think. Everybody just can't wait for the year to be over but when it is actually over, we left in fog.

I need a plan. Yes, I do have a list of 'to do' tucked up on my supersize softboard but I need a plan that actually work. Otherwise, I'd be feeling empty and useless. No, I don't want that...

Right, I'll go ahead with today's plan. I'm fully booked for the whole day. I can't even tell if I'll be sleeping in my own bed tonight. Haha, serve me right... nak sangat!

OSCE done

2008-06-19T16:47:00.003+01:00

I had my OSCE (objective structured clinical examination) this morning. Having the privilege being the first student in my class list (thanks to my father), my group started off at 9.00am. It was held at the Nursing School Practical Ward in Trinity Centre, St James's Hospital. And, it was my first time up there in the building's third level. I never know that 'ward' existed.

Once I went in, I instantly understand why Dr Martina Hennessy, our course coordinator was extremely keen lobbiying for a new clinical skills laboratory that is decent enough to teach us, medical students. Ok, I so have no mood to write about the conspiracy theory that evolved around the medical school here. As usual, I came home with 'summer' headache (that I suffer each summer whenever I go out and too shy to put on my sunglasses)...

I got to treat myself with cold headband and a good sleep now (yes, doctors do go traditional way).. After 23 stations of adrenaline pumping tests, I need this.

Tomorrow: Attend Kak Ila & friends graduation day + Summer sale in city centre is starting (so? Hehe...)

a taste of a bite

2008-06-12T20:31:00.003+01:00

Subhanallah, subhanallah, subhanallah...
Praise be to Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Bountiful.

My life had take a roller coaster ride recently. Yeah, it was so obvious because I didn't even bother to write a word in this blog. Not even on my very own 23rd birthday last June the 2nd.

I was so happy in months because I visited my only sister in Plymouth at the end of May, right after an exhausting mental and emotional torments of pre-clinical final exam. Due to not-so-sweet experience last year, I was also nervous to the eyes.

Alhamdulillah, I reached Plymouth in one piece. The even better part was, my sister was already there, waiting for me at the bus station. Hehe, sooo schweeet!!

All in all, it was a very good moment we shared in Plymouth. Hehe, at least my half was very pleasant. I hope my sister's was equally wonderful. One of the sweetest sisterhood moment in life. Ah, I wonder what we gonna create next. Even meaningful, insya Allah.

However, a test came along. I've got to attend a viva for pathology. A nightmare comes true. I was dumbfounded. Alhamdulillah, it was not for long. I got back on my feet. Stronger than before, ironically. Thanks to the online lectures notes and my sis's laptop (she actually sacrifice to do her assignment when I was asleep only to let me study...wuhuhu~).

I had a safe (though very long journey back to Dublin) after a sweet birthday breakfast with my sister. I got to tell you this; Mira baked me a yummy marble cake topped with whipped double cream and colourful sugar strands... and also flapjack (in paper cup?) yeay!

The viva went on as it was (no comment). Alhamdulillah, when the result came out yesterday, I made it through. I can't thank people who was supporting me enough. May Allah grant you His blessing in this world and hereafter.

Nevertheless, I would like to make a point here. It was not I've went through that matters. It was whatever I learnt along the way... because the world does not evolve around you and the drama continues...

ps: I'm falling in love with Tashiru (don't yet get the chance to know them though)~ for those who know me enough, it's very difficult to get me to like something... I wonder if I got to re-state the statement above very soon...heheh!

FINAL EXAM 3rd MEDICAL YEAR 2008

2008-05-02T23:43:00.002+01:00

Mon 19 May 9.30-12.30 Pharm P2
Tue 20 May 9.30-11.30 Lab Med P2 (Path, Microb, CPC)
Wed 21 May 9.30-12.30 Path P2
Thu 22 May 9.30-12.30 Microb P2
Fri 23 May 2.00-4.00 Lab Med P3 (Practical)
Mon 26 May 9.30-5.00 Pharm Viva (Drug Kardex)
Tue 3 Jun 9.30-5.00 Microb Viva
Fri 6 Jun 9.30-5.00 Path Viva

Hmm, I shouldn't say much. Shut up and just study hard. When I could take in no more, bear with me. That's basically it.

~Love is all around. I'm trying to pay them. All.

birthday wish

2008-05-01T00:57:00.003+01:00

Happy birthday to (tuan) Ahmad Akmal,

wish you all the best every single second...

You always make me and our family proud of you, so stay put and remain steadfast. May Allah bless you with iman and taqwa.
Ameen.

two years to answer

2008-04-23T22:20:00.002+01:00

AmAn ShAh
04/22/2008 10:00 am
thanx jijah...camner skrang??
bila abeh study??

iTayRusMahS
04/22/2008 4:52 am
nak blanja mkn no hal tp jauh 2, beribu-rigbu batu.. merentas awan dan lautan hehe
bila nk abih study?

These are my friends comments in Friendster. I hope I can give a happy answer exactly two years from today. Hmm, don't forget to ask me again that time...

I guess there's no harm to congrats my housemates; Kak Ila and Kak Zura. They already finished their final year exam yesterday. I was so happy to see them coming home smiling (I was off-ward this week to make way for their exam, yeay!). Even though the official result will only published on Thursday night, I have a good feeling that both of them will make it through.

And I, I have my final exam for a few courses next month; Clinical Pathology, Pharmacology, Microbiology. And the as a bonus, we also have OSCE. Hehe...

Update:
I am currently working on Surat-surat Perempuan Johor by Faisal Tehrani (with Ezzah screaming in the background "weh, nak exam studi la!!")

don't read

2008-04-23T21:56:00.002+01:00

I am emotionally tired.
Losing interest on many things that used to excite me.
I wanna sleep.

Heh, what I really need? I know sleep alone won't help. I will wake up feeling exactly the same if not worse.

I know... I gotta be strong. Never to run away. Hehehehe... yeah right! I am strong as long as I am not challenged. The moment I got to fight, I am ready to collapse... huh!

Actually, I am truly sorry for this page. I think it has turned out to be the official dumping site of my bad feelings and thought. And, I kept the good for myself *evil smile*

Enough. The more I type, the more neurotic I become. (Hey, wasn't I perfectly stable just few moments ago? I think some bad witches must have put a bad spell here.)

Gotta go! Too much contamination. I better save my (partly functioning) mind.

(+_+)

the dua'

2008-04-06T21:42:00.004+01:00

Thank you Allah for giving me a good 2-week break from my routine.

I got away from hospital for two weeks. Yes, I still got to go there everyday for psychiatry & psychology lectures but at least it was a different environment. Was the hospital very bad that I come to be glad to have to attend up to 6 hour lectures a day rather that tagging along the medical or surgical team in hospital?

I don't want to answer. It made no difference anyway.

Again, I had a tiring but wonderful weekend this week. Thank you Allah.

Tomorrow I'm starting a new rotation; orthopaedic service in AMNCH. I pray to Allah that He help me through this rotation, lift up the heaviness from my heart and put smile on my face. He and He only is my protector.

O Allah I pray to You, please gather me with the people I love in this world and in Your jannah.

Ameen ya Rabbal 'alamiin...

a weekend full of inspiration

2008-04-02T22:15:00.003+01:00

Yes, you can't identify which of those inspired faces belong to me. I certainly know where I sat, thus I can tell which one.

Alhamdulillah. It was not an ordinary event, and I am very grateful that I was chosen by Him to be part of them. I learnt a lot.

Thank you people, may Allah bless your sacrifices. Ameen.

broken for renovation

2008-03-28T22:27:00.004Z

It has been a different week. A break from the routine means a touch of anxiety. Yes, I know I've always been anxious. In fact I am a very anxious person. Anxiety is not something that is always bad. It can do good, even though it gives you palpitations.

The good side of it, it forces me to get as prepared as I can for something, and I always put my safety first. So, there would be no worries for my mother that I would break my neck or engaged in any dangerous activity.

Now the flip side of the coin, not good... the most obvious adverse effect is anxiety causes you (i.e me) unnecessary worries. I got nervous for unbelievable reason. I still remembered an occasion where my friend just can't believe I tremble while practising in clinical skills room. Hellooo~ it's just a practice. Not even a test, let alone an exam. Ah, if I were to list the situation that can sent my heart electrical activity to complete bizarre... you'd be fast asleep before even near the end of the list. Exaggerating, am I? I am not trying to convince anyone here. Just letting my (I don't know) go.

This week.
This is the first half of our 2-week Psychiatry and Psychology Applied to Medicine + MedLine Ethics + a bit of related Pharmacology Course. It went on well. Very well I have to say.

One good news that I would like to share here, I got my first real assignment. To make it even more thrilling, it contribute 10% to our final year Psychiatry marks. I actually got really excited. Though it is not easy (I'm still struggling to keep the ball rolling) I am still hold on to my determination to accomplish something that can put a smile on my face when I recall it in the future.

This weekend.
5th Medical Symposium organised by IMAM.
Here's the secret: I'm not particularly looking forward to sacrifice my highly-savoured weekend, but I really want to break some more routine this time while holding tight to my heart, don't break.

~A smile goes a thousand miles~

again

2008-03-23T18:29:00.002Z

Its time to catch up, again... As it always happen, I write whenever nothing happen. Then I stopped writing when there's a lot going on, simultaneously or at least one after another. The end result; boring...

This time around, there's literally a lot happened one after another. Reason being is I suddenly decided to be a risk taker. Am I? Since when? Haha, I don't know. But apparently that was being said.

My (sudden) risk taker policy took me for a hilariously nerve-breaking back-wrecking tearful experience of a roller coaster ride. Hopefully I've paid that wonderful experience in full. It was worthwhile, even if I might not be doing it again. Ever!

Ah, my final qualifying exam for the BSc is taking place starting 19th May 2008... err that is 56 days away. So, I been studying a bit harder than usual (hey, did I study at all usually? Urgh!) with a little hope to make it through the tunnel. However, I'm not planning to graduate this year. I would prefer (definitely JPA want it this way) to grad in June 2010 with the double-degree. Hm, what that will be? MB ChB BAO (Bachelor in Medicine, Bachelor in Surgery and Bachelor in Obstetrics) and BA BSc (to be decided) ... waaa tamaknye! No wonder we are so... (no word can do us justice). Haha, sometimes the jack of all trades just crap at all business.

I pray again and again that I will make through this. I'm doing this for many people I love, thank you people.

ps: I wish Sarah the best of luck in her viva voce.

Salaam...

the T junction

2008-03-03T20:40:00.002Z

Most of the time, we got to fight till the last breath.
But sometimes we may need to give up before being defeated.

May Allah grant us wisdom to see which is which.

Have a nice day... somewhere else!

my, my...

2008-02-23T15:09:00.003Z

February seemed to be flying off. Or, was January a bit slow? I can't believe we are coming to the last week of February. Hmm, at least we do have a 29th February this year. An extra February day.

I didn't write a lot in here this month simply because I've been feeling a bit under the weather these days. Since I wanted to make this blog less whiny, I chose not to lament here.

However, I do want to complaint of one thing. This month utility bills really rip off my bank account balance. I would say it was triple than usual. Luckily I was assigned to a nearer hospital, which means I can save on the bus tickets. But, next 8 weeks will be a different story. I'll be back in Tallaght, Dublin 24...( I live in Dublin 8) and commuting to SJH as well.

All right, money is meant to be spent anyway. And, hopefully everything is well-spent. Insya Allah.

p/s: anaesthetist?

with lots of love

2008-02-23T15:03:00.003Z

azizahhh! ya Allah. i miss you so much. how are you? ee tau tak wani kat dublin 1 syawal?? tak jumpa pon. stress.
anyhow i have news! i got into oxford! for MSc! best kan?? datang la visit k?
i miss u so much

love lots,
wani
Congratulation to my drama queen, the joyful and caring Syazwani Fatkhi. Wish you all the best. You definitely deserve to be there.

Feb 21st

2008-02-23T14:57:00.002Z

My ever sweet lil sis 21st birthday!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIRA

to err is human

2008-02-12T23:59:00.001Z

Treat the tiredness by being busy.
'Treat' the 'tiredness' by being 'busy'.
Out.

black hole inside

2008-02-06T20:16:00.000Z

Something is missing somewhere... I hate to admit this. But I got no satisfactory explaination for the whole thing. Could you miss something that you don't ever acknowledge its existence? Or, the fact that you are missing it proved that it actually real?

I am left with question marks all around...

What is it? I do not know for sure. And, that's bad. When you got no diagnosis, you can't initiate definitive treatment. Yes, symptomatic relief may be heplful. But, at the same time it could potentially be as dangerous by accelerating the whole event. Arghh!

My time is running out~

good thing grows

2008-02-03T23:20:00.000Z

One thing leads to another. You do one job well, you tend to do the next task as good, then more of them follow... The same goes when you take a terrible step. Somehow, it is easier to get even further from the true path.
So, do only correct things otherwise resign, heh?

Ok, I'm so sleepy at the moment. Can't figure out what makes me tired...

Nyte~

homecoming

2008-01-27T12:04:00.000Z

My sweet little sister is coming back from her endless trip around Europe. Hehe, can't wait to her stories!! I miss the moment we literally bergayut on the phone for hours, and I ended up forgetting most of the things we talked about. Opps, sorry Mi! You know I love you, regardless of my couldn't-care-less attitude.

Last but definitely not least, thanks a bunch for the postcards you send me this year. I particularly like the one from Dartmoor and Lisbon. I didn't know Portugal is so beautiful!

ps: Please pay me a visit, special for your kakak...

the BIG secret

2008-01-26T16:48:00.000Z

my secret hide-out

ps: sarah, may the curiosity cheer you up!

oncology month

2008-01-26T16:07:00.000Z

It's over. My third rotation.
A quick recap: September rotation was on gastroenterology (medicine) with Dr Nasir Mahmud in SJH, November rotation was urology (surgery) under Mr Robert Flynn in AMNCH and the latest was this January, I spent the month with AMNCH oncology team lead by Dr Janice Walshe.

Firstly, a big thank you for them all:
Dr Janice Walshe (consultant oncologist)
~Wish you the best of luck with your first baby. You rock Dr Walshe! Which 36-week pregnant lady tattering in her 3-inch high heels all day long and maintain her undivided passion towards her patients? No wonder they love you so much! Enjoy your maternity leave, doctor. You're a real inspiring being. Good luck!

Dr Miriam O'Connor (specialist registrar & locum consultant)
~Miriam, thanks a lot for all the teaching. Now I think I did do an oncology rotation, not mere wasting my time running around a hospital and torturing my feet.

Dr Janusz (say Yenesz) Mezynski (registrar)
~I seriously feel like picking up a fight with you! I hate you but I like you. And I really do appreciate your effort. I understand you want the best for me, but please don't be too hard... I hope I can get back to you sometime near my exam to get lectured again *wink*

Dr Nadira Hamid (senior house officer)
~I wonder if you can speak malay. Wish that I can learn more from you but I understand there's lots of thing to do for the patients. ps: don't forget to go back to Singapore when you're tired of the money here. Heh-he.

Nolaigh O'Sullivan (oncology liaison nurse)
~I like your name. Soo Irish!

Dr Raymond McDermott (another consultant oncologist, not actually my consultant, but invited me to his teaching session since his student didn't turned up)
~ The cutest consultant I ever met.

and everyone else especially Webb Ward & Transition Unit staffs.
~You all are very nice and helpful.

Ahh~ one opportunity taken. Could have done more, but I am happy enough to leave. May the afterglow lasts.

Ready for action?
Coming up next: Head and Neck Surgery in St James' Hospital.

my first dream

2008-01-23T21:56:00.000Z

I know that I'm not so ambitious. I think I could settle down with something basic and simple. Yet, as I was taking each turn down my lifeline, I looked back. Which of my decision had been an easy one?

While I usually have had the choices, that equally promising in their own senses, I would reach to the oddest. Am I so in love with challenges? Am I actually adventurous? Ha-ha!

I always believe (or made to believe) that there's something about myself yet to be discovered. The unrevealed destiny. I believe it would be a unique, special and beautiful one... whatever it is. A sweetdream isn't it?

I do not know for sure. For the time being, I see living life is like eating an elephant. Take a bite at a time. And please, bite as much as you (i.e I) can chew. Only. I don't want to be choking and end up in A&E.

Though as lost as I am, I know I have a dream. The first (and only?) vivid dream I have at the moment. I know how I wanted to die. It was since I'd seen a beautiful death, and I wished to have the same one day. It wasn't perfect of course, but it was peaceful.

Al-Fatihah.

Hmm, what a wierdo. I can't see how I want to live my life yet I know how I want to end it. Aiyya amoi, do something la!

dozing off

2008-01-22T22:22:00.000Z

I'm tired too~

There's a lot happened yesterday and today, particularly in the hospital. I really wanted to scribble some thoughts here. But, na-ah... the muscle ache demanded its right.

~zzzzz....

what have i done?

2008-01-20T20:26:00.000Z

Azizah,
I am very sorry. I had disappoint you. I behave badly this weekend. I know I don't deserve to be forgiven, but will you make up with me? I feel real bad.

Yours sincerely,
I-who-wanted-to make-peace.

One thing leads to another. We can never satisfy our whims. One desire granted, more to come. And the chain never break.

Or, was it me? I need to learn to forgive and forget quickly. Otherwise I'll be ruining my dear life in no time. And too bad, I only have one.

However, sometimes I do feel like I'm the cat with nine lives. Unbelievably lucky I am... When things got REAL bad or at least VERY CHRONIC, I will just saved! The divine intervention, I have to say...(thank you!!!). Great wasn't it? The only not so great thing is I can't remember how many times I already woke up from deaths. Which means... I have no idea how many lives I left with? One? Two? Or,have I used them all? Urgh! I could be dead next time...

...This one that I'm living could be the last...

Hey, is there any chance that I can recharge my live?

ps: congratulation to suzila othman & mohd fadli (oh, please i got it right) on their marriage. i only got to know the news this afternoon. and thanks also to zila who invited me to the mini conference.

you don't wanna read this

2008-01-20T11:48:00.000Z

This week was pretty hectic. Lots to do, many done, even more to get done.

Happy? I am. But I was so tired towards the end of the week that I can barely open my eyes after dinner. I only managed to sit around for maybe half an hour (with the help of my housemate and her telly) before I pray and fell asleep.

Saturday. I need to do my groceries as well as the house groceries. Done.

I wanted my Sunday off. But, hellooo~ students have no holiday!
*wink* I got around that one! Don't tell anyone, promise?

p/s: Sarah, sorry for the very early morning call. Still, I'm glad that I caught you before you set off on your busy schedule that day!

sarah dearie

2008-01-15T21:07:00.000Z

happy birthday to my siti sarah fazalul rahiman

i wish Allah will continue shower your life with happiness, success, barakah and rahmah.
may you grow stronger each day.

no word can do justice to such a nice and inspiring being you are, sarah.
o Allah, grant sarah and the people she loves Your jannah, ameen...

fight on

2008-01-13T21:40:00.000Z

"Undergraduate degree is where you embrace the true meaning of discipline. Doing and finishing things you don't like in order to achieve what you Like with that capital L. It's about character building, professionalism development and attitude alignment. Experience all the opportunities that you come across... InsyaAllah you will discover what Allah truly wants you to fulfill as His khalifah."

iron-coated gold

2008-01-12T21:16:00.000Z

My life is full of irony (of course I only have the right to talk about my life). At least, it is true to my mind. I don't always like things that happened to me. Sometimes, I don't just don't like them, I hate them. Ironically, the more I hate them, the more I know deep down that they gonna stay with me... until I like, or to the very least accept them. Then only, I am free.

Why?
God knows. But, how much I suffer, I thanked Him for that. Life is full of things I don't like (to say it in a polite way for once) so I think He wants me to learn to be thankful from the very very bottom of my heart. It was a hard lesson. I took (do I have choice?) the subject for years but never completed to this day. I enjoy learning anyway.

Sometimes it can be funny though. Most of the time I end up liking the things I hated for so long. Haha. Good for me. I wish eventually I will enjoy the things I've been dreading all this while. Not a mere dream. I will.

However, I noticed a problem. Or, maybe my best friend noticed it first... I'm not sure, but it's not that important. Lets focus on the problem. The problem is I cannot make myself freely like something. More often than not, my desires are overcome by fear, all sorts of fear. For something I wish to have, I fear of disappointment. For the thing I wanted to achieve, I fear of failure. For a game I wish to play, I fear of being fooled. Urgh, I've got fear for everything!

By far, I think this is the worse... even for the things I already have, I fear of losing them.

Again, it's an irony~ I enjoy the game I supposed to lose.
Because if I lose, that's it.
But, if I win... I am above expectation.
~ a happy pathetic!

hospital is brilliant

2008-01-10T10:26:00.000Z

Ah-ha! What should that means?
I am just being honest here. Even though I've never been so keen to be a doctor, I do enjoy being in the hospital (apart from being a patient of course!).

There's so much to learn here in hospital (ps: I'm in AMNCH computer lab now) both from the medical team and everybody else. I see how people get through medical adversities, making way in medical career, coping with endless workload, dealing with dying issues, working with others who equally as stress as we are and the list goes on...

Would I be a better person at the end of the day?
I bet.

But we are humans, don't we? I pray that I would be able to put up with life. And, I pray equally as hard that people would be able to put up with me. Hehe~ whatever that means.

Perfect!

subhanallah

2008-01-09T21:59:00.000Z

Praise be to Allah. He had made my days warm with love and sunny with sustenance, despite the full blown winter these days. It was raining all day long, almost everyday. Sometimes, there's normal watery rain, sometimes it's snow, sometimes there's hailstones.

I could never thank Him enough. Today, 1st of Muharram 1429H. We celebrate our Hijrah new year. And I got a whole new experience to explore. What is it? Hehe, secret. I am nervous but excited. Can't wait!!

It's spring in my heart~

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. - John Churton Collins